"The Usefulness Of Comebacks!"

If you haven't noticed, people will tend to say the same thing to you over and over. We are in an unusual career and we bring up the same thoughts in a wide variety of people. I had a friend that used to get frustrated when he'd hear "quit clowning around!" He'd say, "like I never heard that one before"

I think it's interesting I hear very similar comments where I am. This gives me comfort that we are all part of a giant human family. There are similarities about all of us. Like when a waiter comes over and says, "Hi, I'm Sam, I'll be your server today". How many of us have said at some point in our lives, "Hi I'm Fred, I'll be your customer."? (Probably not a lot, if you aren't named Fred)

I don't think these common phrases are intended to be mean or condescending. I think it's the total opposite, it's to be part of the fun, it's just people responding to something they don't see every day.

As a clown, it's nice to have lots of funny, friendly comebacks in your back pocket.



Hey Clown!
Quit Clowning around!
How big are your feet?
Is that your real nose?
Say something funny?
You're not a real clown?
Why are your shoes so big?
I've seen that one before?

Start to notice the commonness of what people say. Then what do you want to do with your comeback. As a performer, especially as a comedian, I do not want to shut that person down. I want to move the comment forward in some way. In improvisation, we call it yes, and. Meaning, I'll agree and move the comment forward.

If I'm walking from my car and someone says, "hey quit clowning around!" I usually say "I have to, clown union regulations!" They smile and wave. It's a small laugh and equivalent to how're you doing? But with a laugh. I may get another comment or just a wave. Either way is fine, I'm prepared and I've moved the comment forward. what I wanted was just to simply make that person feel acknowledged and get a small laugh.

Why are your shoes so big? Because my feet are very small (pause) but my toes are incredibly long. I usually use this one when kids are near their parents, it gets a big laugh. I think of it as children being very curious creatures. I want the child's question answered, I am able to answer it in a very absurd way and I get a big laugh from any adult that overhears it.

With children, I want to move their comment in another direction, otherwise, they will tend to get stuck on one topic. "You're not a real clown." "Yes I am, want to see my business card?" or "You're right, I'm an elephant, I forget to pack my trunk." Or, "you found me out," with a physical move. Usually I tip my hat and it falls over my head to the ground, getting a laugh, putting a period on the subject.

These common statements from people are just auto responses. They tend to pop up when I don't need them. So, hopefully I can gloss over it and slide along like a piece of ice was put over their comment.

Think about what you want the person saying the comment to do next. You may want to lead the person into a magic trick. If a child said "You're not a real clown" "yes I am, I'm a magical clown...watch..."

Or if you are more physical, "You're not a real clown..." "come over let me tell you a story..." then try and sit down and fall off a chair. Or if your mime skills are good, lean on an imaginary wall and tell an absurd story of why you are a clown

Or have a bunch of comebacks all ready, do them in a row. "how big are your shoes?"
Size 1. In clown.
Actually, this one's a bit loose, someone was having car trouble, I gave them a toe.
Perfect for water skiing, I don't need skis. (Wow them with one liners.)

If you are not great at one liners. Send me a note, I can give you a bunch. Go to the library, check out some joke books, a lot of jokes can be adapted for your purposes.