The Long Walk Again...

It's one more Thanksgiving and again I visit my little friends at Family House.

Family House, a place where families live while their children are getting chemo at UC Med Center in San Francisco.

This one day captures my whole life, compressed.

I get nervous for this show.  They've all seen me...they have other entertainers all year...They have the band Train come in all the time, why should they want to see me?...I'm not getting paid...I would rather just watch TV tonight...

And the walk.

Because it's so close I walk.  Through my busy neighborhood.  By people eating sushi and Thai food.  People going to the specialty shops getting fresh produce.

And here comes the clown, walking down the street. Very few make eye contact.  Man I have an odd profession.  I don't think my job is odd.  I just do what I do.  I don't understand why people don't run up and hug me, I'm a clown.  I walk with a big smile on my face and they stare forward and walk.

I arrive at Family House, they aren't ready, they never are.  It's Thanksgiving, all the families are eating in another room.

And then I get the kids.  And the kids laugh, and the people laugh, And the volunteers and staff laugh and laugh.  They laugh with their gut.  That's what a clown can do, get people to laugh from their gut.

There are the bald children there.  There are the babies, too young to respond.

And me.  sweating, working so hard to make people laugh.

And I succeed.  I always do.  I never think I will but I always do.

And people hug me and the kids want just one more balloon.  And people thank and thank me.

This time they forced bottle after bottle of wine on me.  Bottles of leftover wine.

I have Thanksgiving at my house too, so what the heck.

I have a bounce in my step.  I get home in five minutes.

And wash up.

I'm exhausted and pleased with myself.  I won.  I made them laugh.

Sweet relief.

And that's my life.  Nerves and release...nerves and release...nerves release.

In my little little little world.  I am rich and famous.  I'm seen the way I want to be seen, funny, silly and talented.  It's a tiny world.

I like my tiny world. 

Dealing with the sadness...

I have never really talked about this out-loud but I have pretty severe depression.

I don't think it's a surprise to my family, cause, you know, it's hard to hide that.

Although, hide I do.

So, basically, how I deal with depression is an addiction to performing.  Performing gives an intense high.  People slapping me on the back, laughter, people saying I'm wonderful, handing me cash, tipping me for being so funny.  It's fun, like eating dessert for dinner.

Then there are the slow times.  The times, I'm not working.

And when it's slow, it's tough.  The world sits on my chest and I slowly sink into the earth.

And it's hard to pick up the phone...

And it's hard to return an email...

And it's hard to get out of bed...

I'm a very smart lab rat though.  I create patterns.  Every day, I make my bed, do dishes and clean the house.

Here's the method to get me going. I time myself.  I try to do all the dishes in 2 minutes (never happens.  I have never owned a dishwasher.  This is old school, dishpan hands stuff).

I run around cleaning up the house, I set the timer for five minutes, I sweep, I pick up, and wipe down counters and run to the garbage can.  This gets me moving and out of my head.

In the old days, I was Mr. Mom.  Now,  my children don't need me, at least not much.

What's always kept me from sinking fully are the children.

There are no more field trips, reading to classrooms, running to school with the forgotten lunch boxes.
In the mix, my crown as king of clowns was stolen.  I was really good at being the best at business cards and advertising and mailings.  I worked more than anyone I knew.  At my best, I consistently did 6 or more shows, each and every week.  If you have that many, there are little chores to do.  Phone calls to return.

Unfortunately, that's old school clowning.  The new breed of clown, is really good at Yelp and has thousands of Facebook followers.  I'm not good at this part.  My job is to serve my customers, not for them to serve me.  The Yelp model has is a little arm twisting to get reviews.  I've tried it and I don't like myself when I do it.

Maybe there really are tears of a clown.  The thing is, I'm not hiding anything when I clown, I am genuinely happy to make people laugh.


It's the tears of the man that suck.  

They Keep Pulling Me Back In...

Something very magical happened to me coming home from the Clown College reunion.  I am at ease with my being a clown.

I come to realize whatever I do, whatever all my friends do, they are at heart clowns.  They may disguise themselves as teachers and office workers but that's how they think,  the clown is the compass inside.

For years, I've cursed being a clown.  It's hard to make a living, I'm tired of people saying, "I hate clowns"  (before I started writing this, someone posted that on a Halloween picture, oy. I don't get the joke, I hate clowns, clowns are scary etc.  It all strikes me as a lazy humor).   

Between shows working on my blog

Coming home from the reunion, I came to terms with all of this.

I came to terms that I might not be able to make a living at this.  For years I substitute taught.  The whole time feeling like a massive failure.  I even got fired from subbing, because I'm a goof and I made goofy videos in my class making fun of the profession.  (check out Hey Mr. Sub! on youtube.  Funny but now I'm really broke because I lost my part time job).

This week, I've decided I need to make more money.  After being a clown for 26 years, I don't know what else to do to get enough work.

So, I need a job like subbing again.  I've resigned myself that life as a full time clown doesn't pay the bills.

Then, I did a show today.

Realizing I'm a clown.  I'm a clown to my marrow.  I have taken my very funny kids show and committed 2 more notches.

And man was I that much funnier.  And man was I happy when I finished. And man, I can't imagine life not doing this.

But I still need some more income.

No matter how I supplement myself.  I'm a clown.  And that's a pretty cool thing to realize. 

Coming Home...

I went to Clown College (Ringling Brothers And Barnum & Bailey Clown College) in 1987.  

If you went to Clown College, you know to always use the entire moniker.  It was as important to us as never showing ourselves half in make-up.  We represented the Greatest Show on Earth.  

I've been a clown for 26 years.  And that's a hard thing to explain.  Saying "I've been a clown since..."  doesn't capture me.  I simply am clown.   Saying I'm a clown,  is like saying I grew up Jewish or I'm a Californian, an American.  It’s what make me, me. 

I can move to other countries, I could move to another state, I could suddenly believe in Jesus find a job, yet I would always be  Californian, Jewish, American and Clown.  That’s my hard wiring.

I'm getting a chance to muse as I return from Sarasota, Florida, from the Ringling Clown College reunion.  (it's terribly uncomfortable still to not say Ringling Brothers And Barnum & Bailey Clown College Reunion but damn that's long).

When I went to Clown College so many years ago, I didn't know I was a clown.  I got off a plane from San Francisco, was picked up at the Sarasota Airport, went into a converted hanger that was winter quarters for Ringling (ahhh, I need to write the whole thing out) when I stepped off the bus I was home.  For the first time. I was comfortable in my own skin. I looked around, I met people, we understood each other, so very clearly.  

Going to the Clown College Reunion, I'm again, comfortable in my skin.  I don't have to qualify my profession, my art.  To everyone there, I just am clown.  I can’t explain being a clown, the question always confuses me.  Asking me why I’m a clown is like asking why I’m a male.  I don’t know, just born that way. 

In my reunion,  Funny is religion.  

You want to hurt a fellow alumni, don't make fun of their wife or how fat or bald they’ve become,  Tell them they aren't funny.  You can hear that insult bandied about everywhere you go.  

I spent the last 4 days freely making dick jokes and pretending to hump a fellow alumni.  No worry of going too far or being thought of as weird.  Weird would be not going for it. 

We discuss clowning and discuss and discuss and discuss.  That's not enough, so we discuss some more.  Does this ever get tiring?  Nope.  That's why it's so hard to leave the circus.  A crappy job, back breaking work, low pay with the reward being clown all day. And it’s so worth it.

To most everyone at the reunion, it's not even about the crappy job.  You're where you're supposed to be and that's around clowns.  

I came from the world of acting. I didn't know what clowns were, I just wanted to perform.  I remember doing a play in college and my friend Gary Kramer said, "you know, you're the clown's clown.  You need other clowns to appreciate you."  I think he meant it as a jab.  I was so thrilled with that comment, I put it on my first business card.  To me, that’s always been my favorite compliment of all time.  I’m the Clown’s Clown.  

In clowning, we don't deal in backstory, we don't do sense memory.  We let our unlit selves into the light and do and be.  We don't "get into" character, it's always there.  Open the tap in our brains and out it comes.  As easy as...well opening a tap.  If you have to somehow get into character, you’re a pale imitation of a clown. 

I often feel cursed.  Being a clown is not well appreciated by my family. In fact, I feel sorry for my wife, my children my mother.  While I listen to my family, I filter everything through this odd colander called clown.    That has to be frustrating to be close to me. Ask most clowns and they will admit, they are lucky they’re still married, that someone tolerates us. 

Plus, I’m a terrible provider.

I could work at Wendy's and make more money.  Clowning takes a toll on my body and I'm angry at myself for not being as flexible as I want or gangly.  I don’t mind being slightly overweight and bald, it’s funny.  (To my friend Jeff Schott, you have no idea, how jealous I am of your gangliness).  

Being at the reunion, being clown for these past 4 days, I'm alive and at peace.  

I come home not fighting who I am.  I come home just realizing, I'm clown.  My every waking moment.  Funny.  Actually that’s a lie too.  I sometimes wake up from a dream laughing, fooling myself that I’ll remember the joke in the morning. (I never do, I really should put a pad and pen next to the bed, so I can get the middle of the night gags...oh well). 

Back To My Roots

I'm on my way to the Ringling Reunion in Sarasota Florida.

Sitting in the airport.  I feel the same fear, excitement I felt so many years ago.

Clown College is the fork in the road for me.  My whole life was created from those three months I spent learning to become a circus clown.  I've never felt so at home and accepted before or since.

I'm fatter, older, balder but much more of a clown now.

When I went to clown college, I was amazed by how the older clowns were so funny, yet they didn't throw themselves on the floor or kill themselves on purpose.

There was sparseness of movement.

It's taken me a lifetime to get this but that's what clowning is.  Precise movements to elicit
 the greatest comedy effect.

So excited.  So full of foolish thoughts.

In the Tampa Airport waiting for my clown shoes!

A Kid Named Obama...

I've been doing shows for so long I can see actual patterns.

I was doing a charity show for a very poor community center in Oakland and I met a little boy named Obama.  I don't exactly know why the parents didn't think of naming the child Barrack.

I'm a big Obama guy, so it warms my heart.  I thought it was cool.

When I first started clowning, I met kids named Reagan.  Quite a few actually.  I'm not a Reagan fan, so I found it strange.

I have never met a kid named Bush.  Neither of them must have impressed anyone.

Met lots of kids named Carter.  Probably not named after Jimmy, just a cute name.

My wife and I used to have a landlord named Wilson.  He wasn't old enough to be named after Woodrow but I'm sure his parents on coming to America wanted to respect the country.

I've met lots of Kennedys.  No one name Johnson, because that would be a problem naming someone after a penis.

Now that I think of it, I wish I had named my son Dick and changed my last name to Johnson.

Nixon?  That's a burdon to carry.

It was nice to meet a kid named Obama.  It reminded me of how the world changed in 2008.  Whatever has happened or not happened a whole community has changed and has been heard.  People of color see someone that shares their background.

You know, that's pretty cool.

Meeting a little boy named Obama made me smile.  Even if the teacher was saying. "Obama, come here, come here come here"

The Way You Wanna Say Goodbye...

I had an event the other night I wasn't sure about.

I have a client that hires me for all her grandkids.  She's a big fan of mine, even sends me very goofy emails from time to time.

I was on hold for her months away.  She called and asked what days I was open this last weekend?  She said she was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.  She had gone in for a physical, they did the normal blood work and found a mass.

oy.

She felt fine, didn't go to the doctor because she felt bad, just a physical.  She walked out with other news.

She told her doctor she was having a party for her mother's 90th birthday in October. The doctor said, if you want a party, you should move it up.

It's a bit freaky but I go into focus mode in these situations.  My job is laughter. I get very focused on that, the death part doesn't bother me.

And that's the really odd part, I'm very freaked out by mortality, it is on my mind an unhealthy amount.  Faced with sickness and death, I go for it, with all my might.

The show was a huge success.  Lots of people, lots of kids, it was great.

I was thinking, isn't this the way you should go out?  With a party and a clown? We all say that but who would have the courage to actually have a party?

She's a good lady.

There was plenty of laughter, no tears.  Children running around, good food, people drinking but the normal way.  From the outside, just a nice family reunion.

They are a nice family.  I tried refusing payment but they forced money on me.  I guess that's the way it should be, I'm in no position to refuse.

In my line of work, you get into situations you never expected.

I really am blessed.

You Think You've Seen Everything...

I was doing my usual craziness today, when a little boy came up to me and said "here clown".

He was holding a white tube.

Thanks.

He took it apart.  It was a white tube a cotton middle with a string hanging off.  

I told him to give  it to his mom, who about had an aneurism from laughter.  Apparently this 5 year old was digging around momma's purse and discovered a tampon.  I'm not one to judge but don't you need to buy those from a vending machine in truck-stop bathrooms?

In my line of work, when you think you've seen everything, there's always something else to see.

Killin’ Time On The Road...

I don’t travel much, not for work, not even for pleasure.   I’m broke all the time.  

I’m on a three day jaunt around the very lovely Monterey County.   I don’t notice if anything is lovely, I’m a clown on a mission. When I’m traveling I focus on getting there.  Generally, I’m running late to the mission, so I don’t look out the window, I look for police with radar guns. 

Monterey county is very rural.  This is Steinbeck country, he grew up here and wrote about the agriculture here.  This is the Grapes of Wrath, except people mostly have iphones. 

Kids come from all over the place to see me.  I’m doing 13 shows over a 5 day period. I kill it here, kids laugh and laugh.  I’m a huge celebrity, autographs, pictures with me, people shaking my hand.  It’s cool.  

After the shows, I find a bathroom and take off my make up. It’s quiet.  When I’m done, no one is around, they’ve all gone home.  It’s sort of a lonely feeling.  To get so much attention then nothing.  

Then I find someplace to eat.  Last night, I washed my costumes in a Laundromat, got a burrito next door, bought some supplies at an ACE hardware, took my half wet clothes back to the Day’s Inn.  And watched TV, till I fell asleep. 

I called home.  Having teenagers in the house is of no comfort when you’re away.  They answer questions but the least amount of words they can get away with. 

And here I am.  I woke early this morning and did lots of nothing.  

I left the motel for my first show in a little town of 800.  I’m an hour early with nothing to do. It’s a bit lonely.  

I always dreamed of touring.  When I toured in the circus, there were hundreds of people always around.  When I toured with partners in the Kloons, we were always together, so much so, I wanted to work solo.  

My dream of celebrity is here, the roars of laughter make people come from all over to see what in the heck is going on.  

In between.  It’s lonely.  As the saying goes.  Be careful of what you wish for. 

My Book, My Book, My Book...

I wrote a little book of comebacks years and years ago.  I called it 101 comebacks.  It included 120 comebacks but I liked 101 as a better title.

I sold it for $5 in the back of Laugh Maker Magazine. 

Then I wrote 101 More Comebacks.  

My ad cost $45 a month.  I didn't sell enough to cover the cost of the ad.  I thought it was cool though.  

I've revisited this book over and over.  I always thought there was something there.  I don't know of any books that just included comebacks for children's entertainers.  I didn't want to put anyone down I just want to make people laugh.  

The joke is called "Hey Quit Clowning Around"  Comebacks for the most commonly heard comments a children's entertainer hears.  

So, after a lot of work.  I'm sending my version off to a publisher.  It's 95 pages.  There are probably 1500 jokes in there.  It's really tough to edit, after working on one liners for hours, your mind gets really numb.  

I have worked, reworked reworded each joke umpteen times.  I think it's really funny.  

We'll see what a publisher says.  

Wish me luck.  

Being A "Proper" Actor On Set...

I shot a short film yesterday here in San Francisco.  Short films are the rage;  I don't know what happens to them, they end up being submitted to film festivals mostly.  I've been on sets for crazy huge million dollar productions and tiny productions, where it's just a camera, the director does the sound, lights and everything else.  And lots in between.

The production yesterday had a crew of 7.  There is a child in the opening scene, he's on for 5 seconds, I chase him off as the character, then it's me for the next five minutes on screen. 

I was thinking about how to be professional.  Being professional mostly means, keeping your mouth shut.  

The film I did yesterday is terrible, I think it will be a disaster.  I had a million opinions on making the story better but I am there as an actor, not a writer.  I was hired because I am a clown/actor, they wanted something physical with the acting.  I don't think the story will work.  Oh, well.  I'm sure carpenters build kitchens they think are ugly and still work keeping their judgement to themselves. 

On a set, stay positive.  I stayed on the set itself for nearly two hours while they fussed with lights and sound.  Being there in front of hot lights, is long and boring.   This is why they hire stand-ins for movie stars.  I volunteered to be on set, because you need a body, with the skin tone of the actor to adjust lights.  It's boring but it's part of the job, it's my being professional.  I sat there and played on my phone.  

This can't be understated arrive early.   You will always sit around on these things, always!  But the actor is the least/most important part of the shoot.  There is a crew working on angles, sound, lights.  This takes hours, the acting part, is the shortest.  But in the end, poor acting, poor movie.  You will be treated like a prop sometimes, then when your job happens, you are very very important.

Don't wander off.  Shout, "going to the bathroom".  If you leave.  

Be friendly.  You walk in after weeks of planning.  Don't chit chat with the crew.  Often they are waiting to do their job.  Talk, but keep the conversation very light, so they can break away easily, without being rude.  

We all think we're pretty important, save all that for your family.  

Don't offer to move things, it gets in the way.  You are like a model for an artist, they are painting and you need to hold still.  You wouldn't pose for an artist, then offer to get them a coke in the middle of the pose.  Film is just like that.  

When you shoot, take direction.  Let go of the "I've been doing this a long time" thing.  Yesterday was hard for me, the director was terrible, so I didn't know how to perform the thing.  He spoke English very haltingly and was afraid of telling me what to do.  I did what I could.  I kept my mouth shut, I wanted to shout, "tell me what to do?"  I took what I could from what he said and applied it, without the "I know what I'm doing" attitude. 

They seemed happy.  I had to do the performance over and over and over. 

You can't tell by the photos but it was a Twilight Zone sort of feel to the shoot.  I just can't help but pose.  

Feel free to ask questions if you are dying to get in front of the camera.  I've spent years and years in training, it's hard to come off comfortable.  I'll give my small bits of advice.  

Easy Easy Juggling....

There is an expectations about clowns.  Juggling, silly, fall down, play with balloons, sad, happy, don't talk, talk in a squeaky voice, are only men, are fat, are skinny, etc.  You can name a bunch, the clown is an iconic character.  People know a lot about clowns without thinking about it. 

People expect juggling of clowns.  You don't have to but if enough people mention it or request it.  My thought, give it to them.  You don't have to be a great juggler to juggle.  

I started clowning with the skill of juggling.  I get as much applause and laughter from my scarf juggling as my fancy club juggling.  

The downside of scarf juggling...can't do it outdoors.  Oh well.  

Scarves are tactile.  Children like the feel of them.  Juggling scarves come in neon colors. I have have  two boys help me, in this routine.  I take a green, I give one boy an orange scarf, then pull out the next boys favorite color...PINK!   It's fun and gets a good laugh, if you choose the right child.  Usually a 6 year old boy. 

The kids throw a scarf in the air, catch it and pose.  I show them, then make a big deal about how to pose, correcting them again and again.  We do the same gag with the colors for two scarves (I take green, one orange and their favorite...pink!).  I have the boys throw them up, catch them, spin, dance like ballerinas and pose.  They are now jugglers with two.  I call them jugglers, so they are to the audience.   

When I get to three.  I say, "I'll show you how easy it is".  Then I throw up scarves and just try to keep them in the air, one at a time.  The kids laugh, it's super clowny and it's certainly juggling.  You can do juggling patterns but the wider, the more you have to run, the better and funnier. 

I get behind the children with their scarves, they throw theirs up with mine and we try to keep them in the air.  I have extras in my pockets, that I can throw up.  It's very visual and looks like the children are in a washing machine.  

Ta da a juggling routine.  And you can honestly say you have juggling in your show.  

Now that you're an expert with scarf juggling here are other things to play with.  If you throw a scarf straight up, you can blow it up in the air.  You could do a scarf juggling routine to music with every pink one floating up, ending with it landing on your face like a bride's vail.  

You can trail a scarf on the ground like a snake, then when it flies up, it scares you.  If you hold the scarf 2/3 from the top you can make it look around at you and the crowd. 

You could end the scarf routine by catching the scarves in a change bag.  reach in and find them all tied together when you reach into the bag.  Or you catch 3 in the change bag after juggling, reach in and pull out scarf after scarf after scarf, they are very light so you could probably easily pull out 15.  

I used to do a recycling routine in my show with those awful plastic shopping bags from my house.  Plastic grocery bags float the same as scarves.  I tried to keep as many as I could in the air, but I couldn't.  Just like the planet I couldn't handle too much garbage.  Easy message for children.  And I was able to use the thousand grocery bags from my cupboard at home.  

Need ideas?  Ask in comments below.  

Should I incorporate?

I really appreciate John's question:

I'm debating whether to operate as a DBA or an LLC.  I feel like the former should meet my needs in the short term (claiming expenses on income tax, being able to accept checks etc.) and the latter offers more separation between my business and personal finances (and can keep people from suing me for everything I own, which is important!). But I generally have the business sense of a rutabaga, so help!!!

Dear Rutabaga, 

Don't do an LLC.  

From what I understand, it doesn't protect you all that much and it's expensive.  I started the process here once.  The filing is expensive and California had a minimum of $800 a year to maintain the LLC.  I assume other states do the same sort of thing.  I bailed on that one.  

Just get insurance.  This is what I use, they are attentive and have everything covered.  I'm sure if you need additional insurance, they would be happy to take your money.  http://www.specialtyinsuranceagency.com/

I've never heard of anyone being sued.  I've never even known anyone that had to use their insurance.  But of course, it's good to have.

I've used a DBA for as long as I've been a clown.  If you don't know what a DBA is;  It stands for Don't Buy Aspertame.  

Actually, Doing Business As.  On my checks it says David Magidson DBA Boswick the Clown.  I originally wanted a dba so I could always maintain character.  "just make the check to Boswick the Clown..."  

When you file, you just do a schedule C like all businesses.  It's not that hard, you just divide up expenses.  Props, office expense, costume, advertising, fake poop.  My small tricks, I have a business checking and a business credit card.  At the end of the year, everything on there is a tax deduction.  Credit cards are pretty good at saying where you used the card.  Of course only use the credit card for business expenses, then you just put everything into a category.  

Unless you own a home etc, I think you can probably do your own taxes.  I am married, have a house so I use an accountant.  Plus I hate doing taxes.  

Be careful with mileage, find out the rules.  Don't ask friends, you will always get the wrong answer, just go to the irs home page and dig through.  I have a couple of friends that use a small office or storage unit to store props.  They count their mileage from there.  If you use your house as your home base, you can't write off the mileage to your first gig of the day, it's considered normal commuting.  

Also, you will be asked to charity work and EVERYONE will say you can write this off.  Nope.  You can write off mileage, balloons you use but that's it.  You can't write off services.  The point is, you can say you charge $50,000 per show and write all that off.  Do charity but just because it's a good thing to do.

What Does a Clown Do On Their Own Birthday?

I have to admit, I'm a bit snarly about my own birthdays.  I don't like aging...or more precisely, not aging by being dead.

Hey, for a clown, I'm a pretty morbid guy.

Today, I turned 50...ouch.  I told my wife, three weeks ago, please no celebration.

She didn't listen, we had a gathering.  I'm glad it was fun.  I was really dreading being the center of attention.  I know odd right?  I was really dreading all the jokes about one step closer to death.  Jokes about the best part of my life being behind me.  People saying 50 is the new 30.

50 is the new 50.  I'm bald.  My kids ignore me and I'm now depressing myself.

For a clown, I'm a pretty morbid guy.

Parties are fun though.  I think it's like doing a favor for someone and you say, no, it's nothing...and they say, really I appreciate it, you say, it's nothing etc.  It's mean to not accept a thank you from someone.

And it's mean when you have a big birthday not to just be there and accept that people want to celebrate and they want to acknowledge you.

I had fun tonight.  As my brother Steve said, I round up, you're a hundred.  I feel a hundred.

For a clown, I'm a pretty morbid guy.

Please Give Give Give

I found this project really interesting.

The nice thing about the internet, you can archive specialized arts.  I know of some of the people that are interviewed here but not well.  I am inspired by other people's work.

Here's a cool project.  I just gave.  I encourage you to give so they can make more videos.

Click here!

Click to give

Should I wear Clown Gloves?

Sherry Wrote:

I have run across some clowns who say that gloves are essential & to cover as much of your arms, hands, basically skin, etc. to make ur appearance look more animated or cartoony....
What's your take on this?

This is the "what is a clown?" question.  

Sherry told me some time ago, some kids called her a clown and she was dressed just like her own beautiful self.  She was very excited

So, you're already a clown.  

How do you want to present yourself?

I can't wear gloves because I'm a juggler and I do a lot of magic.  It's tough to juggle with gloves on unless I put grips of some sort on them. Which seems silly.  

On the other hand, I would never ever let children see me without gloves as Santa.  Do you believe your clown character is a magic character that lives in the circus and eats cotton candy every afternoon? 

Or, like me, is your clown an extension of your own person, a reflection of the world?

How far do you want to take your character?  

I'm a working clown.  I have to cut corners, wigs and gloves don't work for me because they are in the way.  

Some places I don't cut corners.  I keep my own hair weirdly long and wiry.  If I weren't a clown, I'd probably cut my hair very short, to lessen the look of my balding.  I don't ever wear short sleeves because I have hairy arms and that doesn't work for me.  I wear full base make up at all times, it would be easier to wear less and none on my neck for sure.  

I love the look of a full clown.  I'm a Ringling Clown after all.  In the circus, we never wore gloves unless it was for publicity.  

If your primary work is parades, make up competitions, then you should go all the way.  My first clown mentor, (who was cut 

Children's parties, events making balloons.  I would skip gloves.  For photos, wear gloves.  

People make a lot of "rules" about clowning.  My opinion...be the best clown you can, sometimes you have to give up looks for laughter.  I go with laughter 10 out of 10 times.  

What Clown Shoes To Buy...

 What I would like to know is what to consider when buying real leather clown shoes & why it might pay to invest in them instead of the plastic throwaways that are just used for party costumes. Would you mind talking about walking around in shoes that are at least 3-4" longer than regular shoes, paradeability & long charity hours, if weather or style has any effect, pros/cons. 

I'm happy Sherry is asking questions.  She makes doing this blog so much easier!  

Here's the thing about professional handmade clown shoes, they are very comfortable.  Clown shoes are made by professional shoe makers, it's a very old fashioned skill and it takes years to learn.  

When you order a clown shoe, you make choices on colors and styles.  It's pretty cool, every clown shoe is unique, it's made for you.  

I work a lot and replace my shoes about every 5 years, that's a lot of wear.  I stand all day in them, I walk in them...I can't drive with them on or State Farm wouldn't cover me...After a long day, my feet hurt more than tennis shoes but way less than dress shoes I'd wear to a wedding. 

Clown shoes are one the most important investments you will make; when the package arrives, it will make you so happy.  

Every time someone says "look at the clown's shoes"  it will make you happy, you will feel like "a real clown"  

The shoes I'm wearing now are from Spears.  I am very happy with the quality and how well they are holding up. I happily endorse them.  

My clown shoes were about $300.  A big investment but the only thing I have to worry about is keeping them polished, they are great shoes.  Every few years, I have to get new soles.  (I take them to church for that).  

There are other shoe makers that are very good.  You can ask around, this is my experience. http://www.spearshoes.com/

(This photo was taken by a librarian in Monterey, California.  It says it all!)

You can get clown shoes on Ebay that are good but they are not custom made.  But they are very decent shoes.  The quality is good, they are just made in generic sizes, s, m, l.  They are around $100 or less.  I've seen them and thought they were very good.  if that's your budget, these shoes do very well although not as comfortable.  You will need a shoe insert.  

If you have foot problems, let the shoe maker know.  This is their job, they can make the shoes more comfortable for you.  

The pros.... You get to be a real clown, have shoes you're proud of, shoes custom designed for your character, comfortable, long wearing, something that makes you "stand" out. 

Cons... A lot of money. 

I have no question.  Go for it, this will be the best present you can buy yourself. 

Is Performer Insurance Important?

Hi David!

Why the need for this type insurance?

Who do recommend for entertainer's liability insurance?

How much coverage?

Is it cheaper to join COAI or Clowns of America membership to get the best bang for the buck?

You can always buy an insurance policy when you need it.  The events that require insurance, usually will hire you a while ahead of time, giving you time to get your policy. 

I don't think insurance is necessary.  I've never heard of anyone ever using their insurance.  But it's nice to have, makes me feel legitimate. That's not a bad reason to have it.  OR you have a client requiring a policy.

I carry insurance because I'm asked for it.  If you work in schools and libraries it might come up you are asked for your insurance.  But it's not consistent.  Some ask, some don't. 

These places are government, so they often cover you on their own insurance. 

I use Specialty Insurance

http://www.specialtyinsuranceagency.com/

This is a regular insurance agency that became somewhat specialized in insurance for performers.  They cover clowns, jugglers, santa, fire eaters, dancers and cover agents that hire lots of performers. 

The other source is through Clown's of America.  I believe they are both about the same price.  I orginally chose Specialty Insurance because I would have to join COAI in order to qualify.  So, this was simply cheaper.  If you're a member of COAI, it might be a better deal for you.  

I doubt there is much difference between policies. 

Venues require a 2 to 3 million dollar liability coverage.  It's nothing personal that's just a standard a school a hotel or a library requires from their insurance.  These insurance policies are set up to meet the minimum standards. 

I pay about $225 a year.  

My opinion, I wouldn't get insurance until it's required.  You are covered by homeowners, car, whomever hires you, they will have insurance.  The odds of needing the insurance are slim.  

When you need it, you can buy it.  I sort of put it in the category of buying a business liscence.  You don't really need it, until you are working full time and have to for tax purposes.  I was required to get a business license, I was required to get insurance after a while. 

Be aware, just having the policy is not the final step.  The venue will require you put their name on your insurance.  You will have to email the insurance to put your client's name on there.  

Types of Make-Up

Sherry Wrote:

Hi Boswick! What can u advise about make-up? How can u keep it from cracking out around the mouth & eyes? I'm talking about theatrical grease based make-up that requires powder to set. Is there better types of makeup that wears as well as grease makeup? I have an Auguste clown & soon a lite Auguste character clown...wanna write about the difference btwn the two? It would probably help in my developing one from the other....Thx!!


I've used a lot of make-up in my life.  I've been in make-up nearly half the days of my adult life.  

When my older son was young and my wife was getting ready for work one day, he said "what are you doing?  women don't wear make-up".  

I don't use water based make up.  I was trained with grease paint.  The few times I've tried water based make up, I just sweat it off.  

Make-up brands are a personal choice.  I use Krylon.  Not for a strong reason but the Krylon company happens to be headquartered in San Francisco, so I just run into the store for supplies.  

I don't like the clown white that Krylon makes, too thin for my taste.  I like the Mehron. It's the consistency of cream cheese, very thick but that's what I like.  I don't use clown white much anymore. 

I'm not a water based make up fan.  I like the richer look of the oil based make ups.  I can also splash water on my make up, after powdering to make it shine.  It lasts all day.  It's tougher to take off but that doesn't bother me that much.  I use the special stuff from Krylon that makes the oil based make up water soluble, then I wash it off in the shower.  I used to just use baby oil and wash it with baby shampoo.  

The cracking around your eyes probably comes from a skin reaction to the brand you are using.  I would first try switching brands.  

The light Auguste is using a light make up as a base. You don't have to wear the orange or pinkish base as an Auguste clown.  You can wear a base make up close to your skin tone.  

I like the smoothness of this look.  I hate it when I see men not wear a base, it just looks half done and sloppy to me.  I don't want to see the shaving area.  Even if you do a tramp, I think it should be covered and added in as a stylized look.  I think women should also wear a base.  Women's faces have a smoother skin tone but still, it's a nicer style to have the whole look even.  

I think using the skin tone closer to your own natural skin is a gentler clown.  I think it's a little nicer for the children to come close to you.  The more orange base looks stronger from a distance but is not as soft up close.  

Clown make-up is very personal.  Clown make-up is not about hiding, it's about emphasizing features.  

What Makes a Clown?

I take clown in the broader sense.  That is Pee Wee Herman, Stephen Colbert, Banksy the artist.  Clowning is about being a character but on closer examination you are bringing taunting to that character or characterization.

That character has to be very personal to the person.

Pee Wee brought clown to the world of children's tv.  That is not to say, children don't find him endearing and wonderful and loving.  Pee Wee did a clown in the middle of the rules of Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers and Barney.  Pee Wee pushed from the inside out.  

Stephen Colbert is in the middle of the pundit world. He dresses and looks like a news anchor from CNN.  Colbert draws attention and laughter from being a pundit and pushing outward. 

Banksy is a street artist.  He drew attention to the world of art and pushed it outward.  No one knows what Banksy looks like.  At least not publicly.  Banksy by playing the invisible artist is playing the clown in the world of art and artists.

No one can do Stephen Colbert except Stephen Colbert.  Pee Wee Herman has an affinity toward to his humor.  Banksy is a great artist.  Part of being a clown, you are the only person in the world to be able to do that character.  

In the world of children's entertainment what do we have in common with these other clowns?  We must be ourselves.  We are in the middle of the world of preschool and story books and push from the inside out.  What makes clowns really funny is on close examination, we are pushing away from all expectations.  

Look at what everyone else is doing and throw it on it's ear.  If all clowns are doing the coloring book trick, have a child put their hands on the coloring book and fool you.  If you are making balloons, make the balloon into the shape of a telephone and call your stock broker.  Why is that funny?  it's unexpected, it's in the face of expectations and it's making a comment on the world.

Improvisation and Clowns...

Improvisation is a discipline.  It takes work to learn.  

People make the mistake of thinking anything that flies out of your mouth is "improvisation"  What you say, still has to make sense and has to lead to a next scenario   That is, if someone says to you, are you hungry?  You can say, no.  

And that's the end of the conversation.  Nothing further. 

Or you can say.  Yes, I would like, ham and cheese, a pizza, two hamburgers and a pie.  For dessert, I would like cheese crackers and a banana split.  This leads to the other person saying, something like "I meant would you like a slice of pizza"  

In improvisation, this is called "yes and..."  Keep the yes, in mind.  

Can I have a balloon?  Yes, would you like fries with that?  

Here's where clowns break with traditional improvisation.  Your clown character has an internal logic, a logic that might not be all that bright.  

But in your clown world, you are very smart.  Are you following?  Clowns are smart, they just appear dumb because the world is smarter than they are. 

Is a child dumb for eating paste?  The logic is, it tastes good let's go for it.  To the world, eating paste is dumb.  To the child eating paste it's logical to eat whatever tastes good.  

The clown tries to find solutions that make sense within clown logic.  So, clowns are not stupid, the logic is flawed.  This is why clowns are funny.  Clowns are as smart within their own world. 

Would you like something to eat?  Yes, I would like, ham and cheese, a pizza, two hamburgers and a pie.  For dessert, I would like cheese crackers and a banana split.  The flawed logic is that since you are hungry and someone is offering food, you can have as much as you want.  And, you will be able to eat as much as 5 people. 

As a clown, you create a world, then you say yes to what approaches.  

Notice where you say "no".   A no can be, in the sarcastic answer.  Think anything that makes someone not able to answer back.  

Improvisation should empower the other person.  By saying yes to whatever someone says, that gives them the opportunity to answer back or give you something.  

Clowning With a Language Barrier...

Sherry:

Was just asked to go to Honduras to clown in April!!!.....its a little different venue....street ministry so I'm twisting up critters & trying out props on folks I work with (out of makeup) but they always recognize my clown when I do it.

I want to address a couple of things in Sherry's question.  

Remember props are not clowning.  What would you do if you forgot your balloon bag?  Or the airline lost your bag?  Could you still clown?

Your clown is a physical character.  You are being recognized out of make up as a clown because of your physicality, good for you.  Now that you recognize this, you have a lot of power, power to make people laugh.  

Balloons are the icing kids are coming to see you, not the balloon.  You are the one causing the laughter and joy.  

With non English speakers, trust your clown.  Clowns go beyond language.  Be bigger, with your clown, go further than you would in the US.  

What is a clown supposed to do?  What do you know about a balloon?

Let's brainstorm...Clowns are funny, silly.  Clowns fall down.  Clowns juggle.  Clowns are nice. Clowns are cute.  Clowns make you happy.  

What can you do with that?  Say hola, but shake someones' foot instead of hand.  Kiss grandmas hand in greeting making big kiss noise.  Put a whoopee cushion down on a chair and slowly sit on it.  Put your hand in your pocket, then realize it's stuck and try to get your hand out of your pocket.  

What do you know about balloons?  Everyone knows you blow them up.  They grow.  Balloons pop.  If you don't tie a balloon it flies around the room.  If a balloon touches something sharp it will pop.  

After you blow up the balloon, tie it wrong then chase the flying balloon around. Tie a balloon, then sit on it.  If you don't tie a balloon too full, it can take a lot of pressure.  Sit and roll off the balloon or have a child try and sit on a balloon.  Accidentally pop a balloon then cry big tears.  

Clowns play with assumptions.  A chair is for sitting, we fall off it.  Soup is for eating, we try and have soup and a clam squirts water at us.  A spotlight shows us onstage then gets smaller and smaller or makes us chase it.  We tie a balloon wrong then chase it.  

Learn a few Spanish words and use them incorrectly.  You will get lots of laughter calling your head a zapata and your feet cabesa.  

I'm jealous.  You are going to have a blast (pun).  

Stage Fright...

For the next few postings, I'm going to help Sherry through some questions she emailed me.  Sherry has very generously allowed herself to be coached in public.  My hope, this will help many others in seeing yourself through her.  As always, please comment or ask questions.

Sherry asked a lot of questions.  I will try to just take one at a time.  This one leapt out at me.  I think it's very normal and effects a lot of people.

Sherry Wrote:My issue, primarily, is since my set-back 4 yrs ago (haven't been in clown & had minimal skills) I've developed a subtle stage fright which had NEVER been a problem before....and secondarily, I was robbed of my joy (to a certain extent) & forgot how to have fun, kinda....So I feel as new as a May Joey with my hands empty but my hearts in the right place

Stage Fright

Something happened 4 years ago that had you stop clowning, probably performing, causing huge self doubt about your ability, your character, if you're worthy to be a clown.  

You are bravely willing to set whatever happened aside.  That's huge. That's also very scary. 

I once horribly horribly bombed in front of 4000 people.  I was way over my head but someone offered me a gig that I took.   I still cringe thinking about that one.  Stuff happens.  It makes us who we are and makes us very brave. 

My best advice for stage fright, rehearse.  Stage Fright is essentially being stuck in your head.  Your own head is a bad neighborhood; stay out, you'll be mugged and beaten. 

Thinking about routines is not working on routines.  It's very difficult to practice clowning alone but you can work on the magic trick, juggling trick easily enough. You can also walk through a routine.  

Since you've done clowning before, you have a pretty good idea how the children will react.  When I rehearse, I talk for the kids.  

Example of how I practice.  "My name is Boswick...My last name is Diaperbaby"  (I know the children will giggle). "Hey, you're laughing at my name, Boswick Diaper Baby..."  (the children will laugh a little more).  "I Boswick...long pause...Diaperbaby"  (children will be rolling).  etc.  

(pointing to juggling clubs)  "Hey, juggling...who knows what I do with these?"  

Then I can work on the juggling tricks I want.  The audience part I'm guessing at, the juggling is a physical practice.  

I can practice this by filling in (out loud) what the children will say or do.  I can also, hope, they react in a certain way.  Being a clown, I also have leave myself open for many many reactions.  

The next thing to do is get some event on the books.  Again, this gets you out of your head.  If you know you have to be someplace, you will be there, not for yourself but for the people expecting you.  When you do things for others, the Stage Fright voice in your head will quiet. 

The joy will come, once you get out there.  Something happened, that robbed you of joy.  It takes an act of bravery to get out there again.  

The cure is just working, being a clown.  The more you do it, the quieter the voice.    

I can also tell you, I've been doing this 25 years now.  I've done in the vicinity of 8000 shows or appearances.  There has not been one time I have not had stage fright, been nervous.  Luckily for me, it's not very strong but it's always there.  Maybe that's all it is and you are too hard on yourself, you expect you won't be nervous.  

The longer I have between shows, the more frightened I become.  When I work a lot, the Stage Fright voice gets much quieter. 

Thanks for being so open.  Let me know if this helps or you need more coaching on this issue.