Designing A Routine...With Me As The Guinee Pig... Part 1

For the last two and a half years I've been performing in a very elaborate immersive theatrical show called The Speakeasy. 

I play...Bosley The Magnificent.  A ne'er do well drunk magician that gets in lots of trouble.  you may notice the resemblance to my name Boswick...Bosley.  Get it. 

I have a number of stage routines I do in our cabaret. 

The show is going through a rewrite and Nick (the creator of the show) has me doing some other routines as he cuts actors.  At our high point we had 38 actors.  We are a mere 25 now. 

So he said for my new contract.  I can do my magic act, we'll expand it a bit to cover time, And he said, you do a juggling act. 

Now. I'm a good juggler.  By clown standards I'm good.  By juggler standards, I'm a beginner.  mediocre at best.

The question in my lap.  How do I create a 5 to 6 minute silent juggling routine?

I watched a few vaudeville comedy jugglers on youtube.  But I realized I can cobble together a few vaudeville routines using my strength as a clown and mediocre juggler.  Just doing one or two tricks but leading up to these tricks in a huge comic way. 

I did a very large show in Chinatown the other day for a group of about 200 plus kids and their families.  The timing was off, they had me waiting in a back banquet room for about 45 minutes.  So I started playing with comic movements.  There was a mirror for decoration I could play into. 

Using this blog.  I'm going to map out this routine and the progress or lack there of in writing.  I've been avoiding rehearsing.  Because that's more natural than actually rehearsing. 

On paper this is what I have.

Enter with cane.  Do some physical bits with cane ala Charlie Chaplin.

Do a hat trick.  Notice the audience likes it build to a fancier one.  Do a series.  The drummer in the band get ahead of me, I get mad at the drummer. 

List of hat tricks.
-flip to head
-high flip to head
-roll down back
-roll down arm
-hat balanced on top of cane, pull cane away hat lands on head
balance hat on nose
wipe sweat with arm, notice hat is gone grab hat in teeth flip it to head
flip hat to hand fully stretched up, let fall to low hand.

Tricks, I'd like to put in. 
flip hat from foot to head
throw hat to coat rack. 

These are tricks I can do but not consistently.

Here's what's happening in my head as i picture the combination. 

Speed of these tricks, how do they blend together so I can repeat but not right after each other. 

So. Enter stage. take a bow.  twirl cane.  hang up cane.  roll hat down arm, flip on head, roll down back.  start to walk off.  Elicit  audience to start applauding.  Enjoy, then do the same routine adding another element.  Then do a whole fast hat routine ending with a hat on top of a cane on my chin.  pull hat away, hat lands on head. 

This is part 1.  I'll try this tomorrow between gigs.  in the morning I am Santa, in the afternoon I have a show in a school.  The school will be a nice place to try this new routine.  The kids don't really notice if i mess up, they think it's funny and since I am in character, I'll have fun with it.  

Getting More Laughs with the Same Joke...

There are ways of doing the same joke over and over and getting more laughs.  

Or put another way. 

There are ways of doing the same joke over and over and getting more laughs.  

Or said another way. 

There are ways of doing the same joke over and over and getting more laughs.  

From my show, I juggle clubs.  I juggle then out of the blue hit myself in the head with a blue juggling club and stop and look at the club.  The joke is that I hit myself with the juggling club.  I can do the same joke 3 or 4 times but then have to switch it up.

So I put the club in my left hand and it hits me without juggling. Then all the clubs hit me.

Then I try and ignore the juggling club and it randomly hits me each time I try and speak.

The joke is an inanimate object is hitting me.  I just have to use my imagination to find ways of doing the same joke in different ways.

Letting a balloon fly around a balloon is funny and is a strong laugh.  There are ways of doing that same joke in different ways.

-simply letting the balloon go

-handing it to someone and it flies away

-tying a balloon wrong and it flies away

-breaking a balloon and it flies away

-tying the top of the balloon then snapping off the nozzle and letting it fly away

-pretending you have a bow and arrow and loading the balloon into the mime bow and shooting it but letting it fly

-tie the balloon sit down tired and let the balloon fly why you sit down

-tie the balloon buy you hear your name called you turn that direction and let the balloon fly

This is an old promo picture but I love it. 

 Or said another way. 

There are ways of doing the same joke over and over and getting more laughs.  


The joke is letting the balloon go but the clowning part is the repetition.  The repetition can be repeated after the first mistake but only 2 or 3 times then you have to mix it up so it looks like a new joke.  You can return to the original just letting the balloon go if you put character on it and let the balloon fly.

This is a method I use often with great success.  I have two scarves and have the children each hold a scarf for me.  I can mix it up in a hundred ways.  I name the color wrong.  I call the children by opposite names.  I call the scarves the same color (this one is red, this one is red.  I mean this one is white and this one is white..) I call the children the same name (suzie hold the red, suzie hold the red...).  I can mix up my left and write.  I can call the children by my name.

It's the same joke.  I am just having the children hold two scarves.  You could do this with ropes, balloons, scarves, juggling balls.

Be confident as you do the joke.  The more certain you are the more laughs you'll get.

If you need help with your jokes, let me know.

Or said another way. 

There are ways of doing the same joke over and over and getting more laughs.  

What Is Your Goal Boswick?

I've been going through a life's crisis for

About 45 years....

I keep waiting to become famous.  And waiting and waiting.

In my thoughts last night, I was thinking about how much energy I put into the show/play I'm in The Speakeasy (http://www.thespeakeasysf.com check it out clowns ).  I have spent my life obsessing about my own performance.  My performance in circuses, in doing a commercial, filming my video blogs.  Writing.

I have put almost all my emotional energy completely into The Speakeasy.

We are coming up on two years.  And I'm wondering, what exactly is my goal. You know as a clown.

I dug out a book I had been working on Snotty Comebacks for kids.  I find it incredibly funny.  I began reading them and rewriting them. Then working on more jokes.

If I were to get this published my goal would be to become a character like Lemony Snicket. (A Series of Unfortunate Events).

My son and I went to see Davis Sedaris on Tuesday night. I loved it.  I could see how he managed the audience the interactions and how he read his stories and took questions from the audience.  Not only an incredible writer but adept and making each moment seem special to the audience of 2500.

It's a skill I have on stage.  It's the joking skill.

I'm lucky enough to have met Lemony Snicket.  He lives in San Francisco with his kids.  My kids used to go see him when they were little do talks.

Me and Lemony Snicket!

I'm writing and thinking. This is what I want to do/be.

I'd like to be the king of snotty comebacks.  To create a character for stage that talks to large groups.

Hmmm.

More to come.

Rehearse...rehearse...rehearse...

We did an anniversary performance for The Speakeasy.  That's a show I've been in for almost two years.

I play Bosley the Magnificent.  A ne'er do well drunk magician that never had a whole lot of ambition in life.

I also play Carrie Nation.  She's the woman that started the temperance movement.

I also play Keller The Magician.

I also play Joe, the Clock Shop owner.

I also Play Fred Russell the terrible ventriloquist.

I'm busy in this show as I look at my line up...

We had an anniversary party.  I wanted to do my magic routine from the first incarnation of the Speakeasy 4 years ago.  I've done the routine a hundred plus times.  I have really good comedy timing and know the routine inside out.

I volunteered to do the routine last week.  But for some reason didn't go over it.  Even for five minutes just to get it back in my head.

I got up there in front of 150 people and I was rusty.  Ugh.  I was so mad at the end of that routine.  There were little subtleties of the act that were coming to me as I did them.  What a dope.

Apparently I killed.  I keep hearing from people how funny I was.  It should would have been nicer to do the routine and been comfortable.

Lesson?  Rehearse rehearse rehearse...

There's Always Time To Rehearse...

I have an audition tomorrow.

An agent.  I'm big timing.

With every ounce of my being, I am trying to wing it, to rely on my charm.

mid sentence working on my monologue

I'm fighting through.  I'd like to have everything planned out.  The audition piece well prepared. I'm going to do a magic trick, because, who does magic tricks at an audition?  I have to pick the trick and be ready to bring it.

I have fought every day preparing my audition piece.  I think it's in good shape.  I'm not sure what else to do with it other than try it in front of some other actors.

This time tomorrow I will have new representation for commercials and movies.

The audition process is pretty odd.  I'm not sure I care all that much about commercials, other than the money.  But there is something so competitive in me, I want them and I want them bad.

Creatively, I'd much rather be in a movie or TV.

The reality is this also happens to be San Francisco.  You get to audition for TV and movies but it's usually small one line roles.  "Have you decided what you'll have this evening?"  Larger roles tend to be cast in LA.

I'm nervous, I'm excited and I'm fighting through my own insecurities to just go in and be good and be funny.  Be charming and be likable.  That's who I am.

I also have a new idea for a video series.  It's a continuation of "hey Mr. Sub..."  But we'll see what it's like to be an actor.

I'll try it tomorrow.  I have an audition.  That's a cool premise.  I also am in a show called The Speakeasy three or more nights every week for the last year and half.  I can talk about all that craziness too.

I'm off track.  Wish me luck or break a leg or bump a nose...

My Battle To Get An Agent Part III....

I'm a little taken aback.  Had a call this morning from Look Talent to come in to meet.

That clears all the clouds from my head.  I was feeling sort of down about myself.

I have an audition

I like to do the game on my own terms.  That's a hard way to live.

Sure, I've been able to eek out a living all these years but there are places it's so much easier to just do what people tell you and not do it your own way.

I used my resources for getting an agent.  I spent hours going over my resume and the format.  I sent it to Elle, (my son's girlfriend that works in a talent agency) to critique.  I did exactly what she told me.  No judgment, just do what she said.

Now, Look wants to see me.  She said prepare a monologue.

I've been working on my monologue for a few days getting it memorized.  Now it's time to work on it back and forth and side to side.  Do all the actor stuff.  Backstory, intentions, beats.  I tend to be a lazy actor because I have a lot of stage time and I'm "charming" on stage.  It's what I hear a lot.  I've got a little boys sensibilities.  So, I'm likable.

Which is great for TV commercials.

The rest of the game, I just have to do no questions...

I need new photos.  There are all these places you publish your photos, resume, special skills.  I have never bought into it too much.  If they need a mime, I figure they'll call.  

Here's the thing.  I really like performing.  More than that, I need to perform, it's what keeps me going and fighting my internal demons.  Auditions are little performances.  I get that little high of a performance.

This is exciting.  I've had a commercial agent for 15 plus years.  Now it's time to take it seriously.

Gonna Write a Book Today...

As my two followers know, it's hard for me to get motivated.  Hard to get moving.

I was taking a shower (because I'm fancy).  Here is a preview of my body.

what a man...

I'm just having a hard time moving the last few...(years.  damn, who am I kidding?)

I says to my self I says...I'll write a book today.

So I am.  That's sort of all it takes really.  You just say, I'll write a book and you do it.

Actually I have a great comedy book I've put aside.  I think it's really funny but no publishers wanted to touch it.  I sent out the idea years ago and got a bunch of no thank yous.

The big book of snotty comebacks.  It's comebacks to normal questions.  No connection to Snappy answers to stupid questions.  Any such connection is a lie and merely coincidence.

I wrote this thing years ago when I was substitute teaching.  I know that 4th grade boys (which I have the same mental level).  Would love the snottiness of this book.

My ideal is to get this into Scholastic.  Because you know all those book fairs.  4th graders would love it. I'd make a million dollars and I'd be done.

Actually, it would be just cool.

So, today I'll write a book.  It will be snotty but today, I'll write a book.  

My Battle To Get An Agent ....part II

I've had a commercial acting agent for 15 or more years.  She retired and closed up her company.  I've been working on my resume and cover letter for days.  I started off slowly, grumbling under my breath about how lame my life has become.  To this is pretty fun.  I can't wait to do more auditions.

I went through all the pay stubs from all the commercial acting I've ever done.

It's pretty nifty.  Lots of things I actually forgot about.

I did a thing for BMW where I'm a mime, the car goes by and I say "WOW"  That was neat.

I did a thing for Safeway stores where I talk about all the St Patrick's Day recipes we have.  The fun of that job.  We shot it at a huge Safeway in the middle of the night.  People came up to me asking where items were.

I did a thing for Harvard teaching people to not harass co-workers.  I don't think it worked.

My first commercial was for The Smart Yellow Pages.  That played for 3 years.  I had a stack of residual payments.  It didn't seem like a big deal at the time.  I would get checks for $300 some every other month.  But that's a bunch in the end.

I just sent off the last letter to the agencies in San Francisco.

I was at the All Star Game. They hired Union Actors because we appeared on TV.  

From a Commercial For Nissan

I did what I never do.  I asked for help.  My son's girlfriend works in an agency in NYC.  I asked her to look at the letter for me and my resume.

She gave me small tips and said it would get past the receptionist in her agency.  That's good to know.

Lesson:  Got an expert in your life.  Ask for help.

I've preemptively begun working on my audition monologue.

It's from the play Harvey.  It's fun and whimsical.

I'll do that and a magic trick.  That always gets me in the door.

As I grumbled through this process I am realizing I'm excited about auditioning again.  About giving this a try.

Auditions are terrible.  And not for the reason you think.  What's awful is you think and think about it as you walk to your car.  Then you go to bed and say "I should have..."  "Why didn't I..."  And for days after till it slowly disappears.

They are always very nice in auditions, they really want you to do well.  It's not like they show on tv.


Wish me luck.  

Working On My Website....La Da Dee...La Da Dum...

Sit around for three or more minutes with variety performers and they will start talking about their web sites.  The problems, the expense but mostly.  "I really have to update it"  

It's time consuming and you seldom get what is in your head onto the page.   

When I search I want easy navigation and easy to contact someone.  

I have been doing my new web site for the bast 10 months.  (I've gone through 2 designers).  My first designer kept getting angry with me.  It was a very strange experience being you know...the one paying them.  They did a mediocre job.  I fired them without telling them I fired them.  Because I'm a wimp. 

I hired another company recently to fix things up.  I like this guy a lot better. 

Neither of these companies is in the US.  The first one was in India, the one I'm currently using is in Pakistan.   For someone like me, the pricing works,  I can't afford much more.  When I'm done, it will be about a thousand bucks all done.  

Politics out of the way.  I believe in a world economy. The world shrank many years ago.   Economies change with borders.  I was in Japan when the dollar bought nothing.  A cheap meal started at about $17.  And this was in the late 1980s.  It was very expensive, I was performing there on $350 a week.  I also spent time performing in the Philippines where my dollar made me feel like a millionaire.  I took a cab 4 miles for just over a dollar.  In both these places, people just lived. 

As I looked at the designs of web sites, very few performers have good sites.  If you're looking for good designs go outside of the entertainment field.  Entertainer sites are muddy, they are hard to figure out what the person is selling.  

My message:  Boswick is a highly trained seasoned performer. He will bring mirth magic and laughter to your next event...He'll also do birthday parities. 

Now, honestly, most of my shows are kid's birthday parties.  But I like that feeling that I'll step down from my pedestal to entertain.  It works less and less the longer I've been around.  Most people hiring now are native to the internet.  They don't remember a time they used Yellow Pages or local Parents Magazines to look for ads to help them. The Yellow pages were easy.  Just have the best ad on the page, you got hired. 

In our world I look the same as someone that is newer to the kid's entertainment world.  I'm not the same, I've been around a long time and have honed my comedy to a sharp edge.  

Unfortunately most people are trained by Amazon where a Sony TV looks about the same as a Vizio TV.  (I have been thinking about getting a new TV)

Here's the thing.  A Toyota looks about the same as a Hyundai or a Kia.  But a Toyota is a lot more.  

I own a Toyota because they are just better.  I learned this way back. I've rented a few Hyundais.  They aren't nearly as good.  (sorry Hyundai owners).  I also figured a cars a car and bought a Mazda some years ago.  I was stuck with that thing for 8 years till it committed suicide. Then I got myself a nice Toyota.  

For similar web sites,  I looked at kids shoe sites.  That seemed close to what I wanted.  I also looked at children's dentists.  Mostly terrible but a few were very easy to navigate.  Children's dentist seemed close. Easy to send a question or make an appointment.  That's pretty much what I do.  

My son made a new video for me. We used my annual theatre show to get footage.  I have a new look, no clown nose, very little make up.  

I got a bunch of really nice photos from an amazing photographer that thought I was so funny, he followed me around for a charity event I was doing.  Then gave me all the photos to do what I would.  Greatest gift in the world. Now there's a gift!

I have to accept a web site is always a work in progress.  I want it to be a big brochure. It's frustrating.

I don't really like working on it.  But how do I stand out?  It's gotta be your web site.  

If you're reading this looking for advice.  Front page with a picture that tells a story.  Easy links.  Birthday parties, about me, why I love what I do... Not too many.  Easy to read. Check to see it works on your phone. 

A phone number and email on each page, easy to see and click on.  I hate it when I'm on a web site and I have a specific question but I have to use a form.  

But have the forms.  Don't make the forms hard to use.  If someone doesn't want to fill out the whole form don't make them.  My only required items are email and date of event.  

Wish me luck.  I'll be done in five or ten years. 

The New Year...Now What? Resolutions Shesolutions...

Have a New Years Resolution?

I don't.  I never do, my entire life is a big resolution.  Do more, do better, stop eating all the time.

I am so lucky I am not predisposed toward fat.  Everyday I say, only fruit and vegetables.  Then I find cookies, candy, chocolate milk powder, Honey Nut Cheerios.

I do this starting at 2 in the afternoon.

My New Years Resolution.  Eat breakfast, maybe then I won't be a pig.

My friend Jay says, make a list do the hardest 3 on the list, the rest take care of themselves.

It's a good resolution.  I am applying for a loan.  I just don't want to do it.  I forced myself today and got nearly everything sent to the loan officer.  That's cool.

The second.  Write.  This blog weighs heavily on my mind.  So check, I'm doing it.  Hey this is meta.
I'm lying though, I put on all the other stuff that I do everyday.  I made my bed, made coffee for tomorrow, did the dishes.

My resolution. 1 thing a day I've been putting off.  Like starting taxes.  Nah, I'll wait...

Be prepared for the worst...

Had a very unruly 4 year old at a birthday party.  The parents found it very cute that he was tearing up grass and throwing it at me, which the other children followed.

So, I did the grass dance and tricked the kids into putting down their handfuls of grass.  Remember, distraction is amazingly powerful for small ones.  You can start a story.  (very quietly) "Once there was a clown...).  All the children will stop and stare.

Or (Loudly).  "Everyone open your hands...shut them...open them...shut them"  and return to your show.

My 4 year old had too much coffee and no one stepping in.  Oh well.  I could control the group but not the birthday child.  I never want to make the birthday child or their parents feel bad, so I just live with it.

In the middle of the show, I squatted down to get him from running into my table, I split my pants.

Luckily, my balloon animal stayed in my underwear.

Luckily, I have a sewing kit in my car.  Do you?  Can you do basic repair?  It doesn't have to be neat, you can deal with that later.  Basic sewing is very simple.

I steal the little sewing kits from hotels.  I haven't used one in many years.  But it was in my car,  I threw it in the glove box many years ago.

It was awkward to sew the crotch of my pants while sitting in the car.  But it worked.  Went to the next show and no salt shaker peaking out.

Put a little sewing kit, safety pin, $20, make up remover, under your seat.  You never know.

You never know

Pacing...

Question from Mariposa Blessings.

She wrote about long hours of face painting and how to keep yourself healthy.

I'll have to start with my answer, I don't think there's an answer.

The problem is us.  Me, you, all of us.  We are not capable of knowing our limits.  Someone says, 5 hours of strolling magic/balloons/juggling/face painting/games, we say yes.  They say, oh, can you work an extra two hours.   We say yes.

I have a poverty mentality, I am so not sure where my next paycheck is coming from, I'll say yes to anything.  That's not a bad thing.  I've ended up in crazy situations because I am willing to do anything, anywhere, for any price.  That's how I ended up in the Philippines and on commercials.  I just do.

Here's the reality though.  It's really hard on my body.

If you are willing to hear advice this goes to me as well.  Pace yourself.  If you are hired for 6 hours, take breaks.  When you entertain, your brain is working at 6x speed.  Take 10 minutes an hour to get a snack.  Don't look at your phone during the break. Water not sugar drinks.

If you take a long job, divide it up.  I doubt a client will go for this but you should only work in 3 hour sessions.  After years of doing this, I think 3 is max.  You can be funny energetic and make everyone happy in three hours.  After that  you get a dull look on your face.  A plastered smile.

The rest is just talking to the air.  Eat well, go the gym, get lots of rest.  Like any of us are going to do that.

I know I won't follow any of these words, I'm just too scared of not getting work.

I do a full body costume character for a company.  They fly me around to do it.  It's very flattering to be the guy they trust.  I am at a convention in two weeks.  I end up doing 14 hour stretches for three days in the fur. It's completely stupid.  But I'm good at it and it's a bunch of money.

My best advice, just pace yourself.  Take breaks, don't drink soda, when you feel your smile is fake.  Take a break.

The Theatrical Clown Show...

The question I got was "How do you put together a theatre show?"

I've done a lot of theatre shows.  I have a love/hate relationship with them.

They are super creative, fun and feel great when you're done.  On the other hand, they are expensive, stressful and financially not worth it.

So put making money away.  This is the place you get to be an artist.

Years and years ago, my friend Nick (who runs a very successful theatre company.  And is a great director) asked me.  "What can you do in a theatre that you can't do anywhere else?"

And that's the great question.  I see a lot of clowns, magicians do shows that they could do for birthday, a corporate function or a library.  There's a prestige, there's a cool factor to be in a theatre but what makes theatre is the risk of failing and failing badly.  It's what makes theatre and clowning so interesting to me.  To be on the edge.

I do a theatrical kids show every year in December.  I do it for the challenge of trying to put together something for myself.  I spend the whole year making shows that please people.  I do a theatre show because it's all about me.  I want to make people laugh and that's it.

In a library or birthday party, I can't do a clown skit.  In a theatre I have things dangling from the ceiling.  Things just out of my reach.  I love strings and ropes and pulleys hanging down.  Getting them down is crazy, it just makes me laugh.

A theatre show should have a through line.  It can be very light but there needs to be a small theme that holds together.  I will think of things like "balance"  So my whole show will be about bringing balance to the clown.

Last year, my theme was water.  I tried to douse myself in water in as many ways as I could.  It's slippery and I wish I could have done the show 30 more times to figure out the comedy but it's a challenge.  I tried color changing water magic (yawn).  What worked was just lifting a bowl and letting it pour over my head.

When you rent your theatre.  Get a theatre people have heard of and where they feel safe.  This will be more expensive but you'll actually get audience.  I tried for years to do my shows in these awful neighborhoods because it seemed sort of cool to me.  It's cool if your 26 and on an adventure.  It's not so cool if you have a five year old with you.

You need to make the stage look fun.  This is tough because you have to do it in 2 hours.  Most theaters won't let you leave props.

I always use a dresser that's painted bright red, a table painted and my yellow ladder.  I sometimes use an old TV painted to look funny.  And I like a good chair that I can fall off.  Sometimes I'll use a plastic Christmas tree and decorate it with whoopie cushions.  I can get all these props into my mini van.

I do my shows in the theatre district in San Francisco.  I pay a lot more and don't get free rehearsal time but I get more audience.

I do my shows at 11 in the morning.  This seems to be a good time to get people in and then they can have lunch after.  Theaters like me because this is free money to them.  Other than me, no one is renting a theatre at 11 in the morning.

I spend a lot of time getting my shows listed on as many web sites as I can find.  There are lots of places when you search "what to do with children"  that will come up.  I list my show there.  It helps a bit but also gives me a web presence and keeps my web site coming to the top.  That's good for my making a living.

I do fundraising with schools.  I offer a door split for everyone that mentions their name.  This usually brings me about 30 or 40 people.  They're a bit hard because I need to have people there excited about coming to see me. So I have to recruit someone to talk a lot about the show.

I forgot to mention, I usually will do 4 to 6 shows over a 4 day period.  I want to work on the show. That's my personal challenge.  The first show I do will not be great.  I'm never happy with it.  Good energy but I'm thinking of the order of the show and where props are.  I find the comedy as the show progresses.

I list my show on Goldstar which is a half price theatre service.  It gets me 10 or so.

My audience mostly comes from former customers.  I send two emails to everyone that has hired me in the past two years.  I offer half price tickets.

You will need to get into the theatre at some point and move lights around.

I use my sons to run lights, run sound effects and music.  One of my sons is box office.  and will sometimes throw things onto the stage for me.

I pay my sons.  They like this.

I've just scratched the surface.  It's a challenge to put on a theatre show.  I spend about $1500 and over 6 shows.  The theatre is about $200 to $250 per show.  They generally are nice about giving me free rehearsal time.  I pay for parking, which is expensive.  I pay my crew (my sons) $50 to $75 a show.  I try to not buy too many new props but I usually do.  I always make less than what I pay the crew.

I charge about $18 a ticket.  I sell most for half price.

There's so much to be written here.  If you want more.  Please ask.  I can get really specific on things like press releases and the writing of the show.

Can You Make a Living as a Clown....

A nice nice fellah named Jusby the Clown has been in communication with me.  I give a big shout out because I'm here, I'm free, I love sharing what I've learned about clowning and he took me up on it.

Good for you.

Jusby went to some business advisors and they said clowning is not a sustainable business.  You would have to do 300 shows a year and you'll end up making $30,000 a year.

He shared this and I said "yup.  That's about right."  That's a lot of shows and lots of those shows will be low priced.

I have the benefit of living in a very wealthy area with millions of people within an hours drive.  I am able to make a living because there are just so many people here.

There are maybe 5 million people in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Point zero zero whatever percent,  will hire children's entertainment.  That's princess parties, balloon makers, magicians, Disney characters, bounce castles, animal shows, science shows, tea parties, music, puppets.

Point zero zero zero zero zero ...zero percent.  Will hire a clown for an event.

I've come to realize you pretty much can't make a living as a clown.

On the other hand so what?

In this world, you can't make a living as a painter, a sculptor, an actor, dancer, writer, martial artist...

Some do.

So the answer is no.  And the answer is yes.

You can make a living.  But it's going to be small, very small and $30,000 a year is about as good as you can hope for.

When I'm at my most financially frustrated, I ask.  "What would you do if you won five million dollars in the lottery?"

Hmmm. I'd get a new car, take care of my children's school, remodel my gross kitchen.  Then what?

I'd still be a clown.  

Branding...

I got a question from my friend Mariposa Blessings.

I knew her way back.  Mariposa worked for me when I was training people to work for a Filipino Restaurant chain called Jollibee.  She was my Heddi Spaghetti.  I knew her then as Vanessa.

She found me again at Christmas I'm very happy to have her back asking me questions.

Vanessa asked me about branding.  She keeps hearing about it.

Here is what I do with my branding.

On youtube I'm boswicktheclown
on instagram I'm boswicktheclown
on facebook I'm boswicktheclown

(starting to get it?)

My business card is yellow background.  My postcard is yellow background.  My type on my business cards, postcards and website are Helvetica.  My videos are the same font.

I try and match my promotion.  It's sort of like seeing A brown truck coming down the road and knowing UPS is delivering so you better run to meet the driver.

The idea is when someone sees a bright yellow clown card they already know it's Boswick the Clown.

It's a pretty high level of marketing.  I think it's a good idea because it will make your promotional material look nicer.  If you're thinking about a new web site, you can match the look.

My opinion?  I don't think it matters as much as people think.

Of course if you are UPS, Ford, Starbucks.  It's necessary.  For us...I think just doing something  is way more important.  It's easy to throw up roadblocks.

If you have no money for a graphic artist.  It's ok to make a simple card from Office Max.  Any business card is better than no business card.  If you don't have a postcard to give to people.  Microsoft Word has some very cool templates.  Use the template and put your pictures in there and print them at home.

Here's the better question though.  When you make a business card or flyer.  What's this piece of paper for?  Ask it over and over.

Here is my answer. I want my business card to go on the refrigerator so people think of me when they have a party.  It's a nice clean fun image.  It's got my phone number on it.

My web site has an email button nice and big on every page.  Because that's what I want.  People to call or email.

There are so many web sites I look at or business cards where I have no idea what the business offers.  I get handed DJ cards all the time.  I throw them on my dresser.  I look at them two weeks later and can't figure out what business this is.

My thought is do something.  Get your name out.  Then start to pick the image you want and start following the colors, images and fonts. Keep your name the same, keep your costume the same.

Teaching Clowns to Clown

I find teaching clowning incredibly scary.  Performing is my safety area, it's where I'm comfortable.

When I teach, I have to be very present, pay lots of attention and gently coach or push people to find character or to find comedy within themselves.

It's easy to say the wrong thing, to shut someone down, to hurt them. I never want that I want them to find character, movement and find comedy.

I am going to be teaching clowning at SOTA. That's School of the Arts.  It's a performing arts high school in San Francisco, like the high school Fame in New York.  I've subbed there a number of times for my old clown partner Brady.  Brady is moving into another teaching position at the school and got me the job as the next heir apparent.

The students spend about 3 or 4 hours every day working on performing.  They do Shakespeare and scene study and movement and dance and monologues and African Haitian dance and improvisation and clowning.

There are some downsides to teaching in a place like this.  You get interrupted a lot.  It is a high school, so someone always has to go to the bathroom or a note is coming in because someone left their backpack somewhere and it's in the office.  Or there's a dentist appointment.

The classes are too short.  I think they are 50 minutes.  They come in really worked up, so it takes a while to start class.  The classes are a bit large for what I do as well.  Ideally, I'd have 12.  6 groups of 2, 4 groups of 3.  I have no control over such things.

On the other hand, to be able to work on clowning is so cool.  To use your body as communication, to make people laugh with a look.  To teach someone a proper slap and fall and watch the execute it.  Just nifty.

Internally, I don't think very highly of my own skills.  In fact, I'm in constant fear of being found out as the fraud I know myself to be.  When I demonstrate in classes, I get ooos and aaahs of "you're so good".  It's weird because I mostly feel like anyone at all can do what I do.

Administration sucks with a capital SUCKS at this school.  I'm not good with authority, I will sabotage every time if left to my own devices.   I can tell they just posture.  So, I'll turn in my lesson plans and do what the students need most, that will likely take us off my lesson plan.  They pay little attention to our class so we'll be fine.

By happenstance, I've been invited to teach at a local clown club tomorow.  That's fun as well.  They will be a lot harder to teach.  Adults, especially in a clown club have preconceived notions of clowns.  Lots of cute stuff that has very little to do with clowning.

But I'm nervous and excited about this as well.  The times I've worked with clown clubs, I'm surprised at how little they know of the greats of the history.  I bring up my hero Bill Irwin, I get blank stares.  We'll have fun.  I like to create clowns inside out, so it will be neat to see how they do.

Now, if only this stuff paid a little better....

Go See Your Friends Perform...

For a big chunk of last year, I worked on a one man show.  Not for kids but for adults.

It was emotional for me.  Personal.  I thought this show would be a new direction in my performing life.  The combination of acting, stand up comedy, story telling and clowning.

Most people I know missed it.  Or treated it like it was a choice.

If someone lets you know about their performance, I don't believe you have a choice in going or not going.  It's on the level of "Are you coming to my wedding?"  "Are you coming to my son's Bar Mitzvah?"

As long as I've been performing, I still get nervous.  If there are people in the audience I know, I'm really nervous.  I have my entire being at stake.  My ego is taking a hit in a big way.

My one man show was extra personal.  It's been a number of months and I'm still hurt at how people didn't go out of their way to come.  I didn't do one show, I did 7 shows.  That's a lot to choose from.

My sons have both told me what an important lesson they've learned by my insisting they go see their friends in shows.  I don't get a lot of acknowledgement for my parenting but this one they both get.

Both my sons go out of their way and will apologize to a friend if there is a conflict they can't get out of.  They've both told me how they don't understand other friends that don't bother.

I took my son a couple of weeks ago to his friends play.  It was a teenage version of Les Miserables.  On paper I was thinking "oh God...".    It was 45 minutes away.  The girl's parents were beside themselves that I would come all that way to support their daughter.  I know.  It's who I am.

The best part.  It was great.  I loved it. I had a great time.

If you miss someone's show, it's done and gone.  It's not a photo, or a video.  It's gone into the air.  You can never see it.

If you just go.  It means so much to that person.  Good or bad has no relevance to me in the going.  It's just support, it's emotional support.  It's what we do for each other.

What bugs me so much about the friends that didn't come to my show.  I've been to their shows.  Because I always do.  This is not a one way street.

After my experience it hurt my relationship with a number of people.  Not to the point to where I will say something.  But I view them very differently.

I've always been confused by the idea of thick skin as a performer.  I've never gotten used to rejection.  I've never not been nervous.  I've never not cared what people think of me.  I don't think I ever will.  I have a very thin skin.  Stuff hurts.  I think it does for all of us.

Go support each other.   Get off the couch and go.

What To Say After To Another Performer After Their Show...

I've been mulling this topic for years.  How to deal with performers after a show and why it hurts so much when someone says the wrong thing to you.

I made a rule with my children to never put each other down, my wife or me if any of us are doing something creative.  This helped. A little.

My wife is director of a chorus and works on music all the time.  My sons make videos, do music.

I'm the thinnest skin of them all.  I wanted to create a house where we are safe to be creative.

Years ago, I read a passage in an autobiography by Alan Alda.  I checked the book out of the library, I can't even remember the name but I loved the book and I quote this section all the time to people.  I should really just buy it so I can share it with people.

Alan Alda wrote about dealing with actors after a performance.  He's talking about plays, but it's the same in all areas of performance.  My children would make fun of each other when they were playing something on the piano.  Or did a school play.  It caused very hurt feelings.  I think it shuts creativity down.

Alan Alda described going backstage after a play is like walking through triage in a hospital.  These people are walking wounded.  They are emotional wrecks.

When you don't go backstage after a show.  The performer thinks. "They hated it and they are embarrassed for me"  They are avoiding me.

When you go backstage and say.  "Good to see you"  but nothing else. The performer thinks, "They hated me, they hated the show".  When you say.  "You were really good"  The performer thinks, "they are being nice they hated the show"  When you say "good show"  the performer thinks, "They hated me"  etc etc etc.

There is no room for honesty or criticism.  When you see someone after a show, you say. "I loved it, you were amazing.  The show was incredible."  That's it.  You have to.  That's the rule.

Here's my story.  This came up a few days ago.

I threw a party for my friend Funnybone the Clown.  He turned 50.  He's a big man child and jokingly said, "you're my clown friend, you have to throw me a party"  He was right, I had to.  So I put it together.

I've been doing shows each weekend in a Speakeasy.  People dress up like 1920, there is pretend gambling, 20s singers and I do my comedy magic act.  It's a vaudeville style act,  it's a character act and it goes really well.

So, they let me use the bar on a Sunday for my party.

I had a show for him in the middle, before the cake.  I did my act and MC'd the show with a singer, magician, ventriloquist.

As people were leaving.  A "friend" said, he "liked" my act but I should tip my hat differently because I'm blocking my face.

Throwing the party was a lot of stress.  I was doing the act for people I know, a lot of them really well.

All I heard. "You suck you suck you suck".

I get that he was actually being helpful.  And I took his note and changed the act when I did it last night.  But it bummed me out.  I felt like such a turd.

In fairness.  I am cringing because I've done this to other performers many times.  So this is one of those finger pointed forward, four fingers pointed back at myself.

The best thing. Be gushing.  Let the person get criticism when they are looking for it.  Most people never are, so don't bother.

Balloon Animal Comedy...

Statistics have spoken.  My loyal fan base wants more funny stuff with balloons.

I'm psychic.  I know it.  I'm amazing that way.  I can read your minds...Plus Google gives me analytics.  This touchy feely stuff is cool for me.  Not so much for my audience.

I'm actually crying now.  Be guilty. Very guilty.

Do you remember how cool you used to think balloons were?  Way way back.  Maybe you still do.

I had a teacher in college that taught me balloon animals.  It was a clown class.  This teacher, I'm sure never did a kids party, he was all about stage clowning.  He's an awesome guy.  I'll give him a plug.  Here's his book

http://www.amazon.com/Physical-Comedy-Handbook-Davis-Robinson/dp/0325001146

I just thought it was so cool I was doing balloon animals.  I really thought, this is clowning, what could be better?

I got in trouble when I first came home from the circus.  I was working in a box office with my now wife.  My boss said, "no balloon animals in here...ever!"

So I made them all the time.  I'm a dick.

Balloons are fun, they make you feel good, I want one, they are colorful.  This is where the comedy will come.

Do a big production.  Do a fanfare on your phone.  Bring a kazoo and toot out. Da da du.  Drum roll and finally present an empty balloon.  Fall in love with it, dance with it.  Then give it to a child.

Call it a worm.  Tell the audience.  I'm pretty good eh?  Kids will argue.

Do the whole routine again.  Never underestimate repetition.  Do it exactly as you did before.  blow it up a little.  Give it to a kid.  A pregnant worm.

Do the routine, this time faster.  Blow it up all the way, let it go.  That worm had gas.  Wave at your backside. He must have eaten a burrito.

You can let balloons go in a bunch of ways.  The comedy is to make the balloon smarter than you.  Give the balloon status.  It's an important balloon.  Be surprised that the balloon is not doing what you want.  This is clowning.  Don't do a pretend surprised.  Really believe the balloon is going to stay inflated if you don't tie it.

Clowns are not stupid, they just do stupid things.  Don't be dumb, be surprised that something dumb happened.  We all do dumb things. (Ever lock your keys in the car?  Clowns just do it a lot)

Keep making similar mistakes of letting the balloon go.  One time say.  "There's something wrong with this balloon"  Blow up a few, then let them all go.  "Fourth of July"

If you tie a balloon loosely around your finger you can take your finger out and it will be untied.  This takes a little practice.

When you have a balloon blown up.  If you hold it and force your finger into the nozzle end, the balloon will shoot away.  This is just funny looking. You can chase after the balloon and let it escape. Try capturing this same balloon but it keeps flying away because you've put your finger into the nozzle and it pops away.

Get mad at the balloon (always funny). try and step on it.  Balloons won't pop if you step on them.  or sit on them.  Unless they are heavily inflated.

Then finally make something really simple.  A dog.

After all this build up, you don't have to make anything elaborate.  The audience will applaud because of the comedy.

I just love balloons.  Not the balloon line kind of gig.  Balloons are magical.  One minute you have a long colorful tube the next minute someone has a flower.  It's nifty.

Just Show Up...

I've been doing Aikido for a long long time.

I am a second degree black belt in Aikido which means

Toughest Clown in San Francisco!

I'd still cover my crotch and roll up in a ball if I were ever in a fight.  Aikido is like violent Yoga.

I got better and better at Aikido because I just kept showing up.  I go 3 to 5 times per week.  Every time I go, it's a struggle.  "I don't feel like it, I'm no good at this, I just want to relax today"...Head voices.

I show up and the rest takes care of itself. Aikido is a frustrating activity.  Often, I don't do well.  I don't understand the instruction or I'm not clicking.  But I show up.  And I get better.  It just happens.

This is how I got better and better at performing.  Shows are not always good, some I hate, some I'm in way over my head.  But I show up, over and over and over.  And I get better.

This is my approach to all things creative.  Just show up.  Then you're stuck, you have to create something.

i.e.  This monstrous blog.  I committed. I show up and write over and over and over. I'm getting better and better.

I created a children's show on Public Access years back.  When I started I was all over the place.  I tried green screens, I tried doing things in studios, I did crazy characters.

It was not very good.

I remember learning how to use Final Cut Pro.  It was a nightmare, I was near tears trying to get my show in by the deadline.

Then I got better and better.  I can fly around Final Cut these days.  I did a video series called "Hey Mr. Sub!"  I eventually flew through those.

The show got easier to make.  It got better and better.  Because I showed up.  Meaning, I signed myself up for a time slot and committed to making something month after month. I'd still be making that show if the station still existed.

When I was younger and more handsome I auditioned for commercials.  I showed up and got better.  To get better at auditions, you have to audition.  To get more auditions you have to be good at auditioning.  So, you show up.

I started doing a "holiday" show every year.  The week between Christmas and New Years.  It was stressful.  I didn't know how to get audiences.  I knew how to perform but I was exploring a new world of clowning for myself.  I didn't know my audience would enjoy my personal clown explorations.

I kept showing up. Year after year.

Stress never goes away.  Fear never goes away.  Self-Doubt never goes away.  Those are voices, like awful Muzak you can turn down but not off.

But you show up.  Day after day, year after year.  You'll get better. Ever see the first 3 episodes of Seinfeld?  Not great.  They kept showing up.  The show became great.

Right now, I'm working on another joke book.  It's frustrating.  It's been about 75% complete for six months.

It bugs me that it's not done.  I decided a few days ago to start showing up.  It's happening.  I can see an end finally.  Then on to the next book.

It's easy to start something new.  Showing up day after day...Sigh, not as easy, not as fun.  But that's how you complete things.  Whether you're a clown, a writer or you're building a house.

Show up.