"Honesty"

Are clowns honest? Or are they dishonest? Hmmmm?

Well, you can say just about anything you want as a clown and get away with it - But you cover your pretty face with grease paint and exaggerate your nose size.

You can do what your heart desires - but you are wearing over sized shoes...

It's the question that is really important to what a clown is. You have to be truly honest to yourself, you have to dig in and look at your own fears, foibles and flops and turn them around into comedy. Yet it looks like a big old joke to the world. What may be very very personal will always come off as a gag.

Yet, for a gag to work, it has to come from a very very personal place. Kind of hurts your head doesn't it?

So, I'll put myself on the dissection table for a minute to see what drives me and if I'm being true to the art of clowning. I have a fear of not belonging. I truly think there is a party going on that I wasn't invited to.

So, I go to parties a lot. And I sure make myself noticed. And I am making sure people are laughing on my terms, I'm totally in on the joke because I made the joke!

At the same time, it's pretty dishonest to want to be the life of the party by highjacking the party.

I can spot a fake laugh, a fake voice a stolen show a mile away. It just doesn't work for clowns.

I'm a great big lier telling the truth! Or maybe a truth-teller telling a lie!