"Conversation with the audience"

I'm reading a book on performing. At least I pick it up now and again and read a bit. I'm more or a fiction guy generally.

There is a concept that broken down all you are doing onstage is being in a conversation with the audience. This is weather you are a musician, dancer or clown.

I've been thinking a lot about this since I read this a couple of weeks ago. For instance, last night, I saw a magic variety show. After the main show the great swing band Lee Press On and The Nails performed. During the first and second crazy song, the acrobat that had been on stage was off stage right putting her stuff into bags, her boyfriend was going back and forth taking stuff to the car (I assume).

At one point, she stood up and crossed in front of the band to the other side.

So, here's the conversation. "I don't care about any of you" She had a very nice act but the show was not over and there were 30 plus people that were there having a great time watching and dancing.

Last week, I watched a performance my son was in. This one is a lot more forgivable. My son Dusty was in rock camp and each group of kids played a small concert, 4 or 5 rock songs arranged by a teacher.

One group covered the Star Spangled Banner version by Jimmy Hendrix. The guitar player put a little flag in the head of the guitar. They were just sticking up during the song. In the middle of the second song, he noticed the flag threw it to the side. It was pretty shocking to me. The flag is one powerful symbol, tossing it shocked me and made me want to quietly sneak on stage and take it off the floor.

These are conversations. The acrobat was a bit dense in my opinion. I don't understand why she couldn't push her stuff off stage to dismantle it. Or carry it to the side of the audience and make an awkward joke, sorry sorry...

The kid, has no stage experience and simply wasn't thinking, that was no big deal, I understand.

But it shows, on stage we are with you and following what you do. This conversation is very powerful. If the acrobat had thought there was a conversation going on, she would have paid attention to the other performers and the audience. The kid throwing the flag would have thought, everything I'm doing says, hey how are you? to the audience.

It's a concept I'm noticing a lot right now.

"Hey Out there. Support Each Other!"

Years and years and years ago I discovered a very strange thing about myself...I go to see other performers.

It started in college, or maybe high school....I would go see my friends in bands or in plays. I can only think of one instance where I saw a friend in a band, I'm not a real musical person.

So I figured this was natural, you just go see each other.

I was thinking of this because I am going to see a friend of mine tonight, the great Jay Alexander perform at a beautiful theatre in Marin County. I usually have time to help a bit backstage but I have my own show and I'll rush over to see him. I even bought a ticket.

But very few performers do this. I don't quite get it. Many years ago, in my troupe The Kloons, we put a lot of effort into mailing invitations to all the members of the local clown organizations. We must have sent out 150 invitations and I figured that would be a slam dunk for getting audiences, I mean we only needed maybe 20 people a show. We were 3 fully trained Ringling Brothers Clowns, performing together. We got 1 person. That baffled me, still does, if you are passionate enough to go to meetings about the art of clowning why wouldn't you see a show like this?

So over the years I've just seen this over and over. Mostly I just go because I'm asked. I just don't get the million excuses folks have for not supporting each other. To put yourself on stage takes tremendous courage and certainly foolhardiness. I don't have to judge it, I don't have to take notes, I just have to go and enjoy it. That's pretty rough, a whole lot to ask of someone, come enjoy a live show...

Go, support each other. If you can't afford it, ask for a half price ticket. Don't ask for free tickets, that's lame. There is always tremendous cost to performing, not physical or emotional but actual costs. You know stuff like the postcard you're staring at! A tank of gas costs $50 or more. I think you can chip in $15 to support the arts.

You have Tivo, go to a show!

"It's a bit embarrassing to say you're a clown..."

I'm on jury duty this week and we're going through the jury selection process.

If someone is dismissed, I have a good shot of going up there stating my name, occupation, where I live, etc. I will say shyly, "I'm a professional clown". Or more likely, not so shyly, loudly and clearly, even though I'm really embarrassed of standing out in this situation. I want to say outloud, I teach 4th grade. Everyone knows a school teacher.

This comes up for me, I say in front of group of strangers that I'm a clown. It gets lots of curious stares smiles. For me, the anticipation of how I'm going to say it consumes me. Will I fake tip my hat? Muss up my hair and show I 'm a goof? Will I play it straight? It consumes me.

I know the follow up questions, "where do you work?" "How did you get started?" It's always the same and I have quick answers. This time, I'm going to be asked questions by a judge. Authority makes me nervous. Really nervous. Really really nervous. I don't like authority, I'm a clown!

But I'm sitting in the courtroom, thinking of what I'm going to say. I'm supposed to be paying full attention to the trial.

Strange, for a person that completely craves attention, I often just want to hide.

I could lie when the judge asks me but...I took an oath! I'll tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth...I'll say very clearly "I'm a clown! I work at children's parties, libraries, schools..."

"Getting Kids To Pay Attention"

Birthday parties are pretty exciting if you are 5...think about it.

"I'm gonna have a party you can come Johnny and you can come Sally and you can't Austin, because you pushed me down!" ahhhhhhh

So, when kids arrive it's huge, super bowl huge times ten. You'll get shy kids, you'll get excited kids and everything in between. I've been to thousands of birthday parties, yes thousands, around five thousand in my life, so I'm as familiar as is possible.

I have so many "tricks" up my sleeve to control situations at this point, it's almost difficult to share, they come second nature. They come so easily to me, they just seem obvious, I have a hard time understanding how everyone doesn't understand. But, if you've done anything five thousand times, you probably have mastered it.

Here are a couple of very simple things to think about. Children can only understand one command at a time.

This is simply a developmental step for children. If you tell a child, put away your shoes, brush your hair, bring me your lunch box. The child will disappear and you'll find them playing Barbie in their room. To about the age of six, they just haven't developed the ability to organize so many items at once. Put this into the front of your brain, you will become a much more successful children's entertainer.

BUT, children can layer. Think of the songs Old McDonald or There's a hole in the bottom of the sea. Old McDonald with a chick chick here and a chick there, an oink oink here an oink there. Or there's a hair on the wart on the frog on the bump on the log in the bottom of the sea etc.

So, knowing how children layer, you can almost always get their attention. I have to throw in almost but keep a good sense of humor!

in the market where I work (San Francisco Bay Area), I do a majority of first birthday parties. These are my niche because, for me, they are essentially small stage shows. I often have forty children, 100 plus adults. I do a show that entertains on both levels so this is an area where I work a lot. My specialty.

With this many kids in a park and rec hall, it can be mayhem. Children running and sliding on the wood floors. If I want the kids to start the show, I approach 2 or 3 little curious ones, they either come to me or I go to the willing ones. I tell them I have a secret, (I'm whispering) come closer, come closer, (look shocked) oops your too close, back up back up...no come closer come closer, no too close...they start laughing and will follow me to help me set up. If I have 3 following me, there are bunches checking me out from all across the room. I can say to two sitting over there, come on over, they will, very easily, just with a simple invite... etc etc etc. Pretty soon I have all them kids with me. I can do the same come closer back up thing with the whole group as a simple warm up too. Bam I have all their attention and the adults for that matter.

I've layered it. Come here, go back stand up sit down. Just my variation on Simon Says. Simple funny commands.

I've done my show, I've given away millions of balloon animals, the kids are running around beating each other with balloon poodles. I gather them up for the cake cutting/singing. I stand on a chair and say "all the kids come over here!" bam they follow me like rats to the pied piper. They are completely trained to arrive to my command. They hear my voice through a noisy room. Don't be afraid to use your power.

I can reward the kids with more craziness if the cake is not ready (which more times than not, someone can't find candles or matches, so I cover for them as they find these things)...Everyone come over here...no too far from the cake...over here etc. Or closer closer closer, OR, let's take a picture...(right before the cake is great group picture taking time). I can lead them anywhere at this point, so I get them to the cake or in their chairs, pretty easily.

If the cake is all set, I can simply do the same announcement, lead the kids over to their chairs or around the cake, pose for pictures.

You have an awful lot of power at a party as a children's entertainer. I try to use the power to take care of my clients, that's my big objective. I use this power to focus the kids and have the children laugh for an hour, giving huge relief to wary parents and grandparents. I can also use my power to herd the kids.

But broken down, my power comes from knowing how kids focus. Simple layering of instructions.

"Steve Carell, Another Great Clown!"

I've written a couple of times about Stephen Colbert and why he is currently my favorite clown. I'm adding Steve Carell to my favorites list.

Using "clown" to describe someone is pretty much a pejorative but in my life, I look at clowning as a craft, an art and a performing style with roots to the oldest of times.

I was watching, The Office the other day and was thinking why I enjoy the character of Michael Scott so much. Very similar to Stephen Colbert on this front.

I love the fact that these two buttoned down, perfectly groomed men are extreme physical characters. Colbert is the classic Auguste or Pantalone character. He is the all knowing bafoon. But he gets one over on the "master" over and over. It's fun to watch.

Steven Carell's character works in that they put him in charge. It's wonderfully clownish that the biggest dolt, runs the office. Michael Scott (the character) is much like Elmer Fudd, in that he is thinking he is very smart and muddled by the simplest of every day activities.

These characters are so true to life, yet stupidly extreme. This goes way beyond acting, Colbert and Carell have to create from a secret place of bafoonery. These are the true insides, exposed of these two lovable men. They work so well because they are true to the clowning art.

You don't have to wear a red nose to be a clown. These two are just a little too neat and put together. Just a little too assured of their own knowledge and abilities, just a little too over confident. It's a subtle art to go from actor to clown and not be dismissed.

"Can You Really Make a Living As a Clown?"

It's always a question if you can make a living as a children's performer, as a clown.

I'm not sure.

On one level, this is all I've done for years, 24 years actually. But what I've found lately, it's a tough living if you don't have a partner in crime (my wife, with a better job, health insurance, dental).

Most everyone I know that is a professional entertainer, are single. They are fun loving artist types and likely play a lot of video games.

The definition of making a living is a tough one. Some people would hate the way I live others would think I was a rich kid flitting through life.

I've recently come to the conclusion, I'm doing really well and this is as good as it gets. I'm pretty happy making children laugh. But it pays only so much, there is a limit with what I can charge.

I was watching my friend Pat once lecture at a clown conference about business and he said his competion is not other entertainment agencies but jumpy houses. I've always found that interesting, people will only pay so much for what I do, if I get out of their expectations, they can skip entertainment all together, children won't notice, they always have fun.

So, it's pretty neat to do what I do.

Making a living? Hmmmm yes...but you'll be clipping coupons!

"The Fun and Power of Improv!"

I've been taking improvisation classes for years. 99% because they are just fun.

But it's been a huge boon to my performing and personal life, I have to say.

There is a concept in improvisation called "Yes and...." Meaning a person says something, you agree and move forward. It's very very unnatural. Mostly we want to argue. See you are reading this and arguing already.

I first noticed using this technique with my friend Pat as he was promoting his business at a conference, where he rented a table as HR people walked around seeing what was available for company picnics.

A lady was picking up his brochures and he said hi (of course) and noticed she was from Campbell. He said, something like, you're in Campbell, have you tried xyz restaurant downtown? She said, yes, that was great, I've been looking for a good Japanese restaurant... he said, I like ... yzx, it's was the best priced food...

I can't replicate the conversation but I noticed it was so friendly. It was obviously sales but so friendly non the less. My conversations tend to go...do you know any good Japanese restaurants? "I don't eat there, I'm still holding a grudge from World War 2"

It might get a short laugh but it stops the conversation dead in it's tracks. Where would the conversation go from there? Pat's conversation goes from food, days off to are you planning an event we can help you with, to here's my card, give me a call.

With kids while performing, I can agree and take the "conversation" in a crazy place. The kids scream, "hit your head", I say "ok" and start hitting myself. It's just funny because what normal adult in their lives would ever just start hitting their head.

I do a routine in my show where I have one of the children start the show by standing in front and yelling "start the show". This is easily a 5 minute routine in my show. Why 5 minutes? I have the child up there and start adjusting their head, their arms to start the show. They will move to a more comfortable position and I move their arms head back. This almost always becomes a game between the clown and the kid, the audience howls as the kid moves and I fix them.

This is an example of saying yes and. I can easily just ignore the kid, tell them to hold their arms in a certain way. I go with it. As a character I can get more and more frustrated but I keep trying to adjust the child because that's where the child is leading me.

It's a silly little example but saying yes is very funny and powerful.

Here's a giant mistake I've encountered over a long time of performing. People describe their show as improvisational. Wrap your brain around this...improvisation has some very strict rules.

I've taken classes for years and it's a very difficult craft. Performers tend to get quick easy laughs by saying no. See example above about not eating Japanese food because of World War 2. Saying yes, is tough. Improvisation is setting up a routine and going with it.

Here is a video of me interviewing Mary at a very small library in San Ardo, a town with no sidewalks in Monterey County, California. I hope it's a good example of saying yes and making the kids laugh.

"Keep It Simple Stupid...KISS"

When I was at Ringling Brother's Clown College in Venice Florida, we would walk into the circus arena every morning. One of the first things we would see (along with the trapeze riggings and general mayhem of having 50 clowns in one location) was a giant banner reading Keep It Simple Stupid. The K the I the S the S super large...KISS.

This was a tenant and still a tenant of the great Steve Smith, Dean of Clown College when I was there.

I was thinking about my business cards, I was thinking about how I present myself on the phone, I was thinking about what parents want to hear to book me. I can say a million things but one or two messages scream loud and clear, fun, professional, funny.

I have spent a lot of time staring at the computer trying to make myself look more professional. I'm in debt to the stylings of Jay Alexander on my promo and David Gallagher on my web site. Each time I tweak or change things they sit there saying "why?" "What's the message?"

So, in the end I trust them and I keep it simple.

I was thinking about what I wrote about yesterday...taking control at a party. Simple, I'm a clown, my job is to take the children on a wild ride full of antics.

So, I have to admit, as I write this, I am full of conflicts about things that aren't simple and my inner voice is fighting this conversation like crazy. I always tend to want to over explain and talk in circles. But really, I'm an artist that paints in the canvas of laughing children. It's pretty simple.

"Walk In, Take Control...That's Why They Hire You!"

I went to little Lucas' party this morning, he's a fan from a library show I did a couple of weeks ago and asked and asked for me to be at his birthday.

It's a kick to see a kid just break into hysterics as I'm walking in.

I was thinking about something learned over a long long period of time.

Lucas' mom wanted to hire me but they were having the party in a gigantic Chinese Restaurant. When I say gigantic, like football field sized. It was a bit of a strange place, it was an all you can eat buffet style, pay at the door, eat a lot.

We went back and forth, she just wanted something short not believing the kids would pay attention for any length with all the noise and distraction.

Here's the thing, they did and went nuts.

I had the area of maybe 2 moved tables to set up and have kids sitting. But I killed and could have kept the kids engaged as long as I could maintain energy.

This was a not ideal setting. And yes, it feels a bit odd to walk through a giant crowd with my stuff, with teenagers giving me the sink eye and kids pointing and getting excited to get to my goal area.

I didn't care. I take over. I'll be as loud as I need, I'll get the kids screaming and cheering. I take over and that's why I'm hired. I set that little voice aside that says..."you look really weird in the corner of this place" I take the kids for a comedy journey and their parents are dragged along giggling all the way.

Now, just so you all know...I do control the kids. Other people have paid to have lunch, it's not right to make my needs more important than theirs. It's a noisy place, we were a little ways away, I went for it.

I have a job to do and I hit a homerun today.

Just a peek into my brain, for those that are interested. I often get terribly embarrassed in real life. I don't like taking my clothes off at a beach, I don't tend to want to stand out. Pretty odd I know, because of what I do for a living where I am able to harness that shyness into clown gold.

Why I'm hired is to take over, if you want a clown...a clown I shall be.

"A Few Hours In My Life..."

Here's the prep for a show...

I had a large show at a mall in San Jose, I did it last year so I knew what to expect but I was a bit nervous...because I'm always nervous, has nothing to do with the gig.

This was booked through my friend Pat's company, Headliner Productions, it was near him, so I also arranged to have lunch after the show, that messes things up a lot for me, because I have to remember a lot of things to make sure I'm clean, things I usually leave in my shower.

So, the night before, I glance in my car, make sure I have what I need. These larger shows I bring a yellow ladder as a prop on stage, it holds props but also serves as my finale. At the end of the show, I balance the ladder on my chin, while making a balloon animal (hold your applause, thank you thank you).

Before shows, I get a touch of OCD. I start thinking I forgot my shoes, my hat, my microphone. Often, I pull over open the back of the car, look at it and drive on. It's embarrassing.

So. Got everything in the car, printed directions on google maps, have had bad luck lately with my GPS. Charge the batteries in my microphone.

The show was supposed to start at 11:20. I would like to be there about 10:50, 10:55 even 11 is pretty good. But early to set up and walk around the mall a bit gathering a crowd.

This morning, my son had an early orthodontist appointment. Dropped him off, sat in the car listening to Howard Stern. Yup, giant fan. After the appointment, dropped Dusty off at camp. This was the timing part that made me nervous. The map showed a full hour drive, so I wanted to drop him off and be in the car at 9:50, camp is a little ways from home.

It all worked smoothly. got my make up on, got in the car, forgot my water bottle, ran back in left was a bit later than I wanted but not bad. No traffic.

The mall is confusing. It took me 10 minutes to find the entrance. Had tons of stuff, my fingers hurt when I got to the stage. Same MC, he's awesome, big hug. I was there at 11 for my 11:20 show.

This event had the MC do songs with the kids, there was supposed to have been a dance school performing, they didn't show, the mall management was freaked, told me to go right on. set up test the mic in a funny way with the kids did a full one hour five minute kids show. Pretty long, not a lot of people can do that.

This show though had problems. The sound guy didn't know what he was doing and I kept getting feedback which is a nightmare in a kids show, they don't like loud noises and he shut off my handheld mic for some reason, that's the microphone I use so you can hear the funny things kids say. Oh well, I got him to turn the sound down, it was all fine.

For some reason the kids were climbing on stage. The parents thought this was cute. It's totally not cute. I like having kids on stage but they fall off and it's easy to squash one while I'm doing a routine and looking out at the audience and not down at my feet. Again, oh well.

I would say, what sets me apart from other children's performers is my ability to go with everything thrown at me and say oh well. A lot of people get mad on stage. Talk about losing your audience.

So, fun show (despite a couple of things I didn't like). Took pictures on iphones at the end and had a mom tell me her daughter asked about me every time they went shopping from last year. That's pretty cool.

Talked a while to the MC, complained about the economy, kids climbing on stage, exchanged cards carried a ton of stuff to the car.

Met with Pat, he also sells balloons, so got some hearts. I give heart shaped balloons to big crowds sometimes. Pat was giving a balloon lesson to a dentist, so I washed up in his bathroom, put all my stuff back in the car, drank a ton of water because San Jose is a lot hotter than my San Francisco. Pat showed me his current online project for entertainers, looks neat.

Went to lunch. Complained about the economy, complained about kids getting on stage.

Good to see my friend Pat, then back home to pick up Dusty after his music camp.

Except for the lunch part (I'm a cheapskate at heart, I usually pack my lunch) that was what I do. I know I glossed over the actual show part but I write about that all the time!

"Gettin' Clean!"

I've been in a funk about where I'm headed in my career.

And you can tell when you watch my show. Now, this is not to say I'm not killing when I perform, I'm really knocking them out of the ballpark, which frustrates me a bit more.

See, I'm getting better and better. I've been doing this for so long, little improvements just make the kids laugh so much harder. It can be finding a better place to stand. Or using the microphone better, or hitting myself in the head with a microphone.

I've let things slip though. I know it's something I do to punish myself. Knowing how funny things have gotten it's frustrating that I'm doing less shows than last year.

I punish myself by letting my props get dingy, not polishing my shoes. In my tiny brain, I figure if no one cares about me, I don't care about them.

Being a performer is such a warped reality. I took a look at my show the other day. I was setting up and just noticed how old things were looking.

So, I had my pants repaired at the seamstress (I do a lot of little costume repairs on my own, some are bigger. This one was because I've gotten too fat so my clown pants were popping at the seams, how embarrassing). I made new signs, mounted them on new foam coar. shined my shoes, I've walked through a lot of dusty places lately. repaired my microphone stand and am getting a new hat band for my hat.

The thing is, it just makes me feel so much better and so much more professional. I present myself as a super high end children's performer, that means looking my best.

So, I feel good, my show is funnier than it's ever been, I just have to keep reminding myself, elbows off the table, watch your posture!

"The Cool Thing About Being a Clown...Welcome! Welcome!"

There aren't very many jobs where people welcome you, are nervous about you showing up, force you to eat, and have you come in through the front door.

I've been to the poorest houses. Housing projects, where people walk me to my car, military housing, bad neighborhoods, then off to mansions where you could fit my house into the foyer.

Here's the weird thing, maybe this just says a lot about me, I don't really notice all that much. I go into a mansion and sort of say to myself, this is nice and go find the kids. I walk into a very poor area and say to myself, this looks like a tough neighborhood, let's start the show.

What everyone has in common, the children, they want to see their children laugh. I was walked out of a party the other day by the father of a nice young man (5th birthday). And he was just in awe of my ability to make the kids laugh and keep their attention saying to me over and over what a gift I have. This was likely a 10 million dollar house in San Francisco. I don't know the price but I can guess something like that. I am a guy that has never owned a new car, makes minimum credit card payments and seldom eats in restaurants because it's a lot of money. And he's in awe of me????

I was thinking, this guy probably owns a huge investment company or is a plastic surgeon to the stars. I'm amazed by him.

But I do something so unique, so unusual, I can make a 5 year old laugh till they pee their pants.

And I do this black white, rich or poor. And always always, come through the front door!