Something very magical happened to me coming home from the Clown College reunion. I am at ease with my being a clown.
I come to realize whatever I do, whatever all my friends do, they are at heart clowns. They may disguise themselves as teachers and office workers but that's how they think, the clown is the compass inside.
For years, I've cursed being a clown. It's hard to make a living, I'm tired of people saying, "I hate clowns" (before I started writing this, someone posted that on a Halloween picture, oy. I don't get the joke, I hate clowns, clowns are scary etc. It all strikes me as a lazy humor).
Coming home from the reunion, I came to terms with all of this.
I came to terms that I might not be able to make a living at this. For years I substitute taught. The whole time feeling like a massive failure. I even got fired from subbing, because I'm a goof and I made goofy videos in my class making fun of the profession. (check out Hey Mr. Sub! on youtube. Funny but now I'm really broke because I lost my part time job).
This week, I've decided I need to make more money. After being a clown for 26 years, I don't know what else to do to get enough work.
So, I need a job like subbing again. I've resigned myself that life as a full time clown doesn't pay the bills.
Then, I did a show today.
Realizing I'm a clown. I'm a clown to my marrow. I have taken my very funny kids show and committed 2 more notches.
And man was I that much funnier. And man was I happy when I finished. And man, I can't imagine life not doing this.
But I still need some more income.
No matter how I supplement myself. I'm a clown. And that's a pretty cool thing to realize.
I come to realize whatever I do, whatever all my friends do, they are at heart clowns. They may disguise themselves as teachers and office workers but that's how they think, the clown is the compass inside.
For years, I've cursed being a clown. It's hard to make a living, I'm tired of people saying, "I hate clowns" (before I started writing this, someone posted that on a Halloween picture, oy. I don't get the joke, I hate clowns, clowns are scary etc. It all strikes me as a lazy humor).
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| Between shows working on my blog |
Coming home from the reunion, I came to terms with all of this.
I came to terms that I might not be able to make a living at this. For years I substitute taught. The whole time feeling like a massive failure. I even got fired from subbing, because I'm a goof and I made goofy videos in my class making fun of the profession. (check out Hey Mr. Sub! on youtube. Funny but now I'm really broke because I lost my part time job).
This week, I've decided I need to make more money. After being a clown for 26 years, I don't know what else to do to get enough work.
So, I need a job like subbing again. I've resigned myself that life as a full time clown doesn't pay the bills.
Then, I did a show today.
Realizing I'm a clown. I'm a clown to my marrow. I have taken my very funny kids show and committed 2 more notches.
And man was I that much funnier. And man was I happy when I finished. And man, I can't imagine life not doing this.
But I still need some more income.
No matter how I supplement myself. I'm a clown. And that's a pretty cool thing to realize.
It is so cool to realize what you are meant to be. Keep working at it! And, I have to agree that I don't quite understand people being afraid of clowns. I think it's just an "in" thing to say.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I am a clown. After I wrote this, I had the worst worst group of kids for a Halloween church event. There are highs and lows!
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