"So Close..."

I was getting disillusioned with this blog thing and along come Alexandra and Karen. All of a sudden...I've got followers!

I haven't posted in a while. I had this notion I could work without an audience. Not me, I need watchers and lots of em. In fact, I've always had this belief I was being watched. In early days, I used to think it was people from the future making sure I made good decisions to save the planet (not joke).

Then my dead grandparents, watching me from wherever.

Now, I'm less psychotic, I just believe I'm on a reality show. So, thank God I know I'm writing and someone is reading.

I came really really really close to a TV commercial last night. It's wild how these things come about. The same way I was giving up this blog because no one was reading, I was giving up my hopes of being on TV. I haven't had any calls from my agent, I haven't had an audition in 6 months...

A casting agent called and needed me to dress up like a "sad clown" I knew pretty much what she was talking about, she sent over a picture of Emmet Kelly. I did an amazing replication, good make up and a similar costume. I had photos to her and her client in just over an hour. It was all pretty remarkable. But it's the way I do things.

They were in love with me, the agent, the producer of the commercial.

Even though I know better, I get my hopes up. "If I can get this thing it will take a lot of pressure off" I really want to focus on making children's television. That means, buying more and better equipment, marketing. This felt like "finally..."

And I waited around with my cell phone. Thinking I would get a call any minute..

Got an email, they love me but they are not using a clown at all in this thing.

argh. I say argh.

I did what I tell new people not to do. I focused on it. I knew, the best thing to do was just let it go. It's nice just to be acknowledged for my expertise.

I'm really happy I have my two followers. I still think I'm being watched!