"I Paid My Taxes...Did You???"

During the first Iraq war, I went in to buy a car.

The war had broken out a day or two before and I figured everyone would be freaked out and I could get a better deal on a car...

Actually, I had borrowed my then girlfriend (now a wife)'s car. My car a very cool 1979 Honda Prelude. Awesome car but you know...only worked on two cylinders, Needed something that worked.

I borrowed Diane's little Honda Civic (an actual good car) and left the gas cap at the gas station. I have to give the car makers kudos for making a little plastic connection so you can't leave em anymore.

She was pretty pissed. They didn't sell gas caps at Grand Auto, at Kragen. I had to go to the actual Honda dealership parts place. So...

I go to the parts place, they say it will take 10 minutes to go into the warehouse and bring back the cap. So...I wander the showroom, looking at cars. There was a good one about two years old, small, honda civic. A lease return. Cool. I decided I would buy it.

So, Here's the tax connection!

I have never made a lot of money but I thought I was awfully clever in those days, I didn't have to claim anything that wasn't reported. So, when I applied for a car loan, they said I made $4000 a year. I said, no, I just make cash, you know...wink wink!

This is what we go by, what you claim. You can have a loan you can either get a cosigner (totally embarrassing) or pay 17% interest...

Well my dad cosigned.

So, my girlfriend got a new gas cap, I bought a car and I even paid it off. and loved that car till it hit 170,000 miles and made clicking noises when it turned.

I thought about the tax thing.

I will admit that I'm a liberal. Not on everything but you know, universal health care, gay marriage, stuff like that. I used to grumble about those darn fat cat Republicans...

Hmmm. Wait. But they are good Americans just using the system that exists. I'm a two faced sleaze that is just stealing...

Hard to take but there it is. I started claiming my income, land o Goshen...what a concept. So, I was eventually able to qualify for a house, more cars over the years and I've helped my niece with a loan program for her college education, because, I'm a good risk, i pay my taxes.

There is something funny that happens when someone hands you a $100 bill. You actually think it's yours and the government is trying to take it from you. If I had a paycheck it would just be my pay after I paid my share.

That $100 was never mine. Maybe $60 or $50 after my business expenses and taxes.

I hate paying taxes. I hate that I have to have an accountant because I just hate them so much I have to pay someone to do them for me. But I love that I say "clown" on the occupation box on my 1099.

I also have a clear conscience. I'm an actual participant of this democracy. Brings a big tear to your eye doesn't it?