"Gettin' Clean!"

I've been in a funk about where I'm headed in my career.

And you can tell when you watch my show. Now, this is not to say I'm not killing when I perform, I'm really knocking them out of the ballpark, which frustrates me a bit more.

See, I'm getting better and better. I've been doing this for so long, little improvements just make the kids laugh so much harder. It can be finding a better place to stand. Or using the microphone better, or hitting myself in the head with a microphone.

I've let things slip though. I know it's something I do to punish myself. Knowing how funny things have gotten it's frustrating that I'm doing less shows than last year.

I punish myself by letting my props get dingy, not polishing my shoes. In my tiny brain, I figure if no one cares about me, I don't care about them.

Being a performer is such a warped reality. I took a look at my show the other day. I was setting up and just noticed how old things were looking.

So, I had my pants repaired at the seamstress (I do a lot of little costume repairs on my own, some are bigger. This one was because I've gotten too fat so my clown pants were popping at the seams, how embarrassing). I made new signs, mounted them on new foam coar. shined my shoes, I've walked through a lot of dusty places lately. repaired my microphone stand and am getting a new hat band for my hat.

The thing is, it just makes me feel so much better and so much more professional. I present myself as a super high end children's performer, that means looking my best.

So, I feel good, my show is funnier than it's ever been, I just have to keep reminding myself, elbows off the table, watch your posture!