"The Time a Kid Whizzed On Me."

Being a clown, people expect me to tell funny stories. I really find nothing very humorous about what I do. It’s my job and career.

I know it must sound odd, I do not at all find it funny that I shop for the best price on whoopee cushions. Or the fact that I know the difference in brand quality for said whoopees.

When it’s time to buy new clown shoes I spend hours looking at designs.

I have a great time doing what I do. I make a living making people laugh. I don’t find that humorous at all.

Funny is my job.

Here’s a funny thing that happened to me!

I was at a ridiculous over the top, crazy, spend too much money, kids Halloween party. The party was in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in America. So, picture mansion, circle driveway.

The guy hiring had all his carpets covered in Saran Wrap. I’m serious giant sheets of Saran Wrap. Smart but odd. The party was in his beautiful landscaped backyard.

There were two other children’s entertainers there before I even arrived.

But shhh. I’m the best. I get em laughing like no one else can. Yes, I’m tooting my horn but at that event, parents said to me, “I thought the others were good but I’ve never seen my kid’s laugh so hard”

I’m just that good!

There was a little boy of maybe 3 that kept getting into my things trying to hit me from behind. You guessed it, the parents thought this was really cute, while they hung around the bar. I turn it into comedy. I’m a clown, I take all situations and make them on purpose. I turn the unexpected into a routine.

I was looking left, when I heard “watch out!” I turned to my right and that little boy unzipped his little NASA space costume and was trying to .... pee on me! Whizz on the clown. Pee on the payaso.

I lept back, caught some shrapnel on the bottom of my pants and on my $350 shoes.

This I found hilarious. It was so ridiculously crazy, I just laughed and laughed.

It’s a good story. My favorite part of the story...

I didn’t even get a tip!