I'm a Published Author...

Years and years and years ago I created a booklet called a 101 comebacks.  I stuffed a 115 into there, I thought that was funny.

I followed it up with 101 more comebacks. I stuffed about 130 into that one.  I copied it and sold it in an ad in the back of Laughmaker magazine for $5.  I'm sure I paid for the cost of the ad, the copying charges and the postage.  But probably not.

This is maybe 1990.

I have been adding to this list of comebacks for all these years.  A few years ago, I sat down and wrote a few thousand more.  Yup.  A few thousand.

I copied them and had it bound at Office Max.  Each copy cost me nearly $5 and I sold them for $20.  I didn't break even.

There were a lot of typos.  A lot of repeated jokes.

My friend Mike challenged me to take on the hard comebacks.  "Hey Quit Clowning Around"  and "Why are Your Feet So Big?"

I also expanded my world.  I asked magicians what they heard most often.  "Can you make my wife disappear?"  I asked face-painters.  "Is it easy to wash off?"  "Does it hurt?"

I removed all duplicate jokes even though you can use the same response for "Is This All you Do?"  Whether you're a jugger, a clown or a magician.

My son helped me edit.  Duncan once described my use of the coma as a bloodbath.  Duncan did the mind numbing task of going through nearly 2000 one liners looking for grammar errors, phrasing problems and does the joke make sense.

Duncan came up with the idea of calling these one liners "Gotchas".  I didn't like the idea of the comeback because I don't think people are making fun or heckling.  They are engaging in what they perceive as a clever way.  As an improviser I want to Yes And them.  I want to acknowledge their joke and one up them.

A year ago I found the two publishers that put out this sort of specialty book.  I got a no thanks from one and never heard from the other.  I was honestly shocked.  I've never seen a book like this.  Maybe there's a reason.  Or maybe my jokes aren't funny.

This book sat on my computer for a year.

My brother writes science fiction.  He couldn't get his work published either.   He said get that thing out there, who cares who publishes it, you wrote a book.  It's no good on the computer.  Give it to the world.

I put in illustrations.  I organized and laid the thing out.  I hired a company to lay the book out for me and do a cover design.

On Tuesday, I released my book on Amazon.

It feels weird.  It feels like I don't deserve the nice words people are saying.  My old friend Gerald told me years ago, the inside of your head is a bad neighborhood.  He's right.

So.  Buy my book.  I've worked a long time on this.  There is nothing like this out there and it's just darned funny.

"Hey Quit Clowning Around"

By

David Magidson

http://www.amazon.com/Quit-Clowning-Around-David-Magidson/dp/1503387984/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417312886&sr=8-1&keywords=hey+quit+clowning+around