Ho ho ho, being Santa...

Being Santa, is peforming, performer lite.  

I have seen far too many bad Santas. Not as in the movie but just bad performers as Santa.  And it's just so easy.  

Santa is like playing Monopoly. Basically the game was written many years ago.  Everyone knows the rules.  

Stay in character.  This is such a duh.  People will try and try to make comments to draw you out.  Respond with a big ho ho ho.  If someone says, boy you must be hot in there, respond with a big ho ho ho, I'm used to much colder weather in the North Pole.  

So easy.  

Walk like Santa. If you must run, how would a really old fat man run, probably very slowly.  Don't walk like yourself.  Walk slowly, Santa is in no rush, except Christmas Eve, he always  has time for everyone, that means moving very slowly and being open to hugs everywhere you go.  

Asking children what they want?  Easy.  Just listen.  Kids want legos, dolls, trucks, stuffed animals.  Easy to make those promises.  Parents and Grandparents always know.  

If they ask for an ipad, a puppy, a kitten.  I say, elves use hammers to make things, the elves keep breaking the screens, how about something else?  A puppy?  Elves can't make living things, they can only make toys and clothes.  You can throw in God but I don't see a need, it just complicates things, just an explanation and a what else would you like?

Just follow the simple Santa logic.  It's all there for you.  

There's no wonder so many people play Santa, it's like doing stand up comedy for your company.  All the inside jokes are done, you can just do the punchlines and get a laugh.  Santa is a big shortcut as a performer.  But bad Santas forget the basics.  Say yes, stay in character, maintain your physicality.  

If you want to play Santa, just use all the shortcuts.  Where are the reindeer?  Why they're on the roof, but very shy, you might not see them but you can hear them.  What kind of cookie do you like?  I like a good oatmeal cookie with raisins.  Just have an answer ready.  

You have a finite number of questions and you can repeat the same answers over and over with a ho ho ho.  People say the same things.  

And smile, even though it's hard to see under the beard smile.  You can see it in the eyes.  Santa is a physical character.  Smiling changes your physical presence. 

Crying kids, yup.  Have the mom hold them and take a family picture.  

Drunk people.  Yup, take a picture and act like they are kids.  You love everyone, even the ones that smell like a brewery.  

Santa is a big happy character.  It will backfire if you get negative (you're never tired, you always love children, you love Mrs. Claus, you are never distracted by flirty women).  

Stay positive.  Say yes, say yes, say yes.  Would you take a picture? yes.  Will you bring me a doll? yes.  I would like a Porche.  What color?  

Have fun.  Ho ho ho.