Theatrical Clowning...

Just finished my annual theatre show.

Washing sweaty clown clothes.  Filthy towels from all the water tricks I did on stage.  I did water spitting, spit takes, an upside down water trick that "went wrong" and spilled all over the stage.

And thinking thinking thinking.

I didn't get as many folks in the audience as I'd like, not nearly really.  That's frustrating, I sit back and wonder what I could do to get more people.  I'm baffled, flummoxed.

On the creative side.  This was my best show, I feel. I thought it flowed, it was really funny and I had great theatrical elements.  Taping myself to a chair just makes me happy.  I know there is more to explore with a roll of painters tape and a chair but I went pretty far with it.  One thing I learned.  Make sure the tape is fresh, having to find the end of the tape was frustrating, funny but frustrating.

My hat hanging from a rope as I tried to figure out how to put it on again makes me smile.  My juggling clubs hanging from the ceiling by ropes and pulleys, silly funny.

I live in a funny universe.

The people that came had a great time.  The ones that weren't there...why?

I did break even plus I think I'm ahead about $100 for the whole thing.  I guess that's cool, in the scheme of theatre.  I paid the rent, bought new props and paid for staffing.  That's a tough thing to do.

If you ever want to try a theatrical clown piece, send me a note.  I'll help you out, I may try to talk you out of it but I'll help you out.

And I'm a bit sore tonight.  Lots of falling in this show.  Falling off chairs, slipping on water on the stage, falling trying to get my hat on my head.  I love prat falls but you do pay a price.

The one thing that always keeps me going.  The kids looking at the red velvet seats in a theatre and being amazed.  One little boy was there with his grandma really early.  We were still setting up the stage, I wasn't in make up yet.  They came into the theatre.  We talked for a minute, I told them a place to hang out.  The little boy looked at the theatre and said "I love the seats, I love this place"  And that's why I do it.  I can spend my life in the living room circus but there is nothing like the red velvet chairs, the black stage and the bright lights in your eyes.

Doing a Theatre Show...

Just for background, I rent a theatre and do a children's holiday show each year.

Why?

What makes me put down the deposit on the theatre are my sons.  Each year, they rehearse me, design the lights, music and have a great time being in the theatre.  It's a real strong memory for each of us.  We've been doing this for years.

A theatre is a very special place. A theatre without an audience is spiritual, you feel magic oozing from the walls.

Each year I say never again.  The stress of getting butts in seats, writing the show, publicizing, worrying I won't break even.

Each year I do it again.

I get to be the clown I want to be.

I get into lots of trouble in my life.  I say things I shouldn't, I offend people, I get kicked out of places.

In my theatre, I say whatever burbles out, I do the routines I feel like doing.

I'm thankful people come and laugh like crazy but it's a relief to just not hold back in any way.

I sold out yesterday and came close to selling out the first show.  Things look good for breaking even.  My sons are making money, I pay them before myself for all their work.  I'm helping a bunch of charities with my show.

I just get to be Boswick The Clown...

Ho ho ho, being Santa...

Being Santa, is peforming, performer lite.  

I have seen far too many bad Santas. Not as in the movie but just bad performers as Santa.  And it's just so easy.  

Santa is like playing Monopoly. Basically the game was written many years ago.  Everyone knows the rules.  

Stay in character.  This is such a duh.  People will try and try to make comments to draw you out.  Respond with a big ho ho ho.  If someone says, boy you must be hot in there, respond with a big ho ho ho, I'm used to much colder weather in the North Pole.  

So easy.  

Walk like Santa. If you must run, how would a really old fat man run, probably very slowly.  Don't walk like yourself.  Walk slowly, Santa is in no rush, except Christmas Eve, he always  has time for everyone, that means moving very slowly and being open to hugs everywhere you go.  

Asking children what they want?  Easy.  Just listen.  Kids want legos, dolls, trucks, stuffed animals.  Easy to make those promises.  Parents and Grandparents always know.  

If they ask for an ipad, a puppy, a kitten.  I say, elves use hammers to make things, the elves keep breaking the screens, how about something else?  A puppy?  Elves can't make living things, they can only make toys and clothes.  You can throw in God but I don't see a need, it just complicates things, just an explanation and a what else would you like?

Just follow the simple Santa logic.  It's all there for you.  

There's no wonder so many people play Santa, it's like doing stand up comedy for your company.  All the inside jokes are done, you can just do the punchlines and get a laugh.  Santa is a big shortcut as a performer.  But bad Santas forget the basics.  Say yes, stay in character, maintain your physicality.  

If you want to play Santa, just use all the shortcuts.  Where are the reindeer?  Why they're on the roof, but very shy, you might not see them but you can hear them.  What kind of cookie do you like?  I like a good oatmeal cookie with raisins.  Just have an answer ready.  

You have a finite number of questions and you can repeat the same answers over and over with a ho ho ho.  People say the same things.  

And smile, even though it's hard to see under the beard smile.  You can see it in the eyes.  Santa is a physical character.  Smiling changes your physical presence. 

Crying kids, yup.  Have the mom hold them and take a family picture.  

Drunk people.  Yup, take a picture and act like they are kids.  You love everyone, even the ones that smell like a brewery.  

Santa is a big happy character.  It will backfire if you get negative (you're never tired, you always love children, you love Mrs. Claus, you are never distracted by flirty women).  

Stay positive.  Say yes, say yes, say yes.  Would you take a picture? yes.  Will you bring me a doll? yes.  I would like a Porche.  What color?  

Have fun.  Ho ho ho.