"Getting Myself Out of The Way!"

Some things have been hanging over my head.

Thank yous mostly.

I owe some thank yous to people, in a big way. I didn't deal with it at the time and then I get guiltier and guiltier and guiltier.

I am working with an old friend of mine. We "coach" each other once a week and places we want to forge ahead. She caught me in a spot I just couldn't deal with.

I owed a couple of DVDs to the guys that I hired to work on my last large video project. Basically, my DVD is great but it's not perfect. After I finished all the printing I got a small critique from a mom. It was simply the layout of the menu on the DVD was harder for the kids than the last one. A fairly easy fix.

I started making that mean. "Another sucky project..." Even though, when I take a look at the thing, it's hilarious, I can't believe I pulled it off.

So. I got myself out of the way. Talked to the two guys that helped shoot the video, had a nice little chat and sent them copies of the DVD.

I had such a weight on my shoulder from this for the last 8 months.

Since I did this, I've been cleaning, writing, working on things, getting rid of things. Organizing. It feels really clean.

So, sometimes, the only thing that stops me is me.

"Thinking About My Next Theatre Show..."

Funny thing this year...it's wonderful and kills me at the same time.

I do a full theatrical children's show every year. I work with a theatre company that pretty much leaves me alone. They send out a press release, hand me the keys to the theatre and say good luck.

it's a cool deal. I do work through the year for them, basically, I do their video production for their plays, interview the directors, film rehearsals if they want. It's fun, I love video, so it's cool.

Basically in exchange, I get a theatre for Christmas. I try with all my might to get an audience. I'm not great at that part but you know, you can't do everything, although, I try.

Mostly I do the show because my sons love doing it with me. They do the light designs, backstage, sell tickets and run rehearsals for me.

This year my older son is going to India with a group for an educational work tour. Amazing opportunity but it's hard on me as I think of doing the show without him. He's a terribly talented young man. He understands the light boards, runs the show, it's very cool.

I'm doing the show with my younger son. Who is excited about stepping up.

We are brainstorming what to do. It's neat to have creativity all around me.

I've come to a certain realization about my show in the theatre. I haven't been doing the greatest hits for my fan club. I have been stretching myself as a performer but I'm thinking my show is sort of like going to see the Eagles and them not doing Hotel California.

I'm bringing the fun of my live anything goes shows, into the theatre. I think it's going to be pretty crazy this year and I'll get the kids howling. Something I didn't do when I was working on the theatrical side the last couple of years.

this year more whoopie cushions, more poop jokes, more things I can't to hanging from the ceiling. Maybe some chair falls (see yesterdays entry...maybe not)

Dusty and I will knock em dead.

"The Clown Hurt Himself!"

Something I've deeply feared happened on Friday. I got hurt in the middle of a show.

WARNING WARNING WARNING this is very gross what did to myself. Enjoy.

If I have room, I do a slapstick routine, where I'm trying to tell a story while trying to sit down on a preschool chair. Like all my routines, I get mad at the chair, as if the chair was trying to hurt me.

Just to give you a reference of how it goes, I start to talk, sit down on the edge and fall off. I do this right, then left. Then examine the chair. Sit down cross my legs fall over. sit down on the other side fall over. getting faster, slide off to the left, then slide off to the right. Then I get an idea put my foot down on the chair slam my head into the chair holding my nose. Get a better idea, sit down and balance the chair on my nose...applause the chair falls straight down conking me on top of the head and I stumble off.

I add other things in there depending on the audience and their attention span.

This time...slid left fell on my tuchas. Got angry...here's the key, when I do most of these routines, I'm clear of the chair, the drama of the falling is usually the recoil or a big bounce on the butt. When I slid right....got the corner of the chair...caught it right in...the place you go poo....

I end the routine, the blood has left my head, I think I'm going to faint. I'm completely sure I ripped that area and am bleeding into my pants. I think I just started flop sweating like mad in fear.

What do I do. I was thinking, I should really drive to the hospital, this is bad. This is a lot of pain.

I needed to end the show but I would have been shorting them...so I pulled out some balloons to make for the kids, because I can make them laugh on auto pilot with balloons. But blowing them up might really cause problems back there you know with the pressure and all....

I was feeling slightly better, thought I could make it through, go home clean up and go to the hospital.

so, I pulled out heart shaped balloons which are hard to blow up but not as hard as an animal balloon. Made 40 or so of those.
Gritted my teeth and smiled and took compliments.

Waiting to get my check, I was playing with the kids and got caught by a 4 year old as he slugged me in the crotch. This is a very very common thing for 4 year old boys to do plus they are generally about that height. As a children's performer I'm hyper aware of everything going on around me, so I can catch their little fist before they can swing.

Except, I was way off my game wondering if the blood patch on the back of my pants was bothering anyone. So I took one in the front to equal things out in the back...

Got out of there, everyone loved me. Feeling a lot better when I got in the car, feeling better when I got home.

Checked nothing.

Likely just hit a bunch of nerves.

So other than to gross you out, why did I write about this? What do you do in a show if you can't go on? There's no such thing, if you can walk, you can finish, you can find a way.

I should have taken up guitar when I was a kid...a lot less pain.

"A Clown On Vacation"

I am just about to leave to meet up with my family for a few days R and R.

This may be a clown thing, this might be a self employment thing but I just don't like vacations. I love being with my family. The vacation we take every year is at a family camp, so there's bingo and cards and board games and endless glasses of wine.

But I'm just a bit tense about getting work, missing work, not being able to return phone calls.

I also have a deep guilt that I shouldn't be on vacation. I mean, generally speaking I live life like an 80 year old retired person. I toodle around my house doing repairs, meet my friends every day to exercise, volunteer in school and instead of spending time watching my grandkids, I watch my kids.

If I were getting social security, I would be completely happy.

It's probably because I don't know where my next paycheck is coming from. Thank goodness for Visa and Mastercard, they make all vacations possible!