The Tough Party...

Last night I did a show.

Tried to do a show.

Yet, I was super funny.  The moments where everything is truly going wrong, not the controlled wrong.  I get people laughing.  I get to be a clown.

Here's what it is to be a clown.   Everything is your stage and you comment on it.  Comment, meaning joking, acknowledging, a body language gesture, making physical or eye contact. Everything. that's what's funny about clowns, it's the reflection of what we see.  Most people don't see the world.  A clown brings everything upfront.

I always remember in elementary school.  The teacher had us put our heads down, we listened.  She said, "can you hear the train far away?"  "Can you hear the bird outside"  etc.  Stuff you just process.

By acknowledging EVERYTHING the audience notices the absurdity of the world.  That's what clowns do.

My party last night had everything wrong.  They held it in a local Chinese restaurant, no banquet room, just in the middle of the restaurant.  So, hmmm, how do I deal with people that might actually be there to eat that are not part of this party?  Point them out and say, "I guess you didn't go out to eat for this tonight..."

Absolutely no room.  I had some parents move the tables a bit but there were 35 kids.  Lots and lots of adults.  The children were at my feet.  I mean, at my feet.  Being a clown, I can step on them, pretend to step on them, use a whoopie cushion on them for being so close.  Acknowledging the situation.

i had kids that were "older" meaning 9 or 10.  They were in the "that's not magic, this is boring"  part. And they shouted it out a lot.  So, I acknowledge that.  "You sound like my wife"  "You think this is boring?  Try my day job, urinal cake testing"  whatever.  I don't think I said that.

The birthday boy was special needs and totally in my stuff.  It was hard to do routines with me having to get him out of my stuff, every few seconds.  I do this in a fun gentle way.  He was overly excited and tried to hit me and kick me a lot too. More potential for jokes.  

And of course comment on it.

Plus it was a magic themed party, all the kids had magic wands they were poking at each other and my face.  I made a joke about Kaiser.  That's our big hospital chain.

For me.  The show was way less than ideal.

It doesn't matter.  If you pick and choose your shows, you'll be stuck, to be a clown you can't choose

.  A clown, just by definition (see above) has to go into the unknown, has to get into life threatening or just horrible situations.

That's why clowns are funny.  Because you put your career, your physical well being, everything on the line.  I got lots of laughs and today huge praise from the parents about how memorable it was for their son.

I'm not sure how I feel about a show like this one.  I was truly a clown.  I made memories, I was super funny.

On the other side, it was crowded, I didn't do a lot of my routines very well.  That part failed.

And that's what clowning is.  Nearly always success/failure.  That's truly what's funny.  Not so much to me.  But I'm sure a truly funny show to watch.

My Funny Exit...

It's a bit rude to do a show, have all attention on you, then simply disappear.

Find a place for business cards.  Best, a small table by the front door, you want people to take them as they leave.  Often this doesn't work.  A likely place for people to see my cards.  The cake, goodie bag area.  You can have kids hand them out, I find that a bit over the top but it might work for you.

I want to take a few seconds with the birthday child to ask if they had fun.  Get a high five.  After all this whole event was all about them.

If I didn't feel I got enough pictures, just before I leave is the time I'll gather all the kids for a group photo. I will blatantly ask people to take pictures.

Even if I've been offered food, or I've been dealing with payment, giving someone a business card.  I want to bring everything back to a big goodbye and make it about the children.

If the children are not occupied (eating cake).  I shout out to come over.  I tell them to give me a big push out the door.  They think this is really funny.

They push my backside.  They are little so they can't push too hard.  I have all my things under my arms and make an S through the room or crowd.

The children are laughing I pause before leaving and say a big "Bye Everybody"  Usually I'll get some applause.

Then they push me out the door or gate or wherever.

I like an exit like this because it involves the children.  It's funny, cute and memorable.  It's also a book end to my big entrance.

Think of funny character ways of exiting.  Children holding your hand and guiding you out.  Children hopping like bunnies around you.  Maybe just a big crowd with you showing you out.  Make the exit as big as the entrance.

Leave a big impression.  

Best Birthday Party Entrance...

Generally when you go to a birthday party.  The mom (I'll just use mom as the general person that hired you) will say, "where would you like to set up"  or "we're not quite ready, would you like to eat something?"  or "The children are in the backyard let me go get them"  

I don't let any of that stuff happen.  I always always call before I come in.  I make sure I have a back up number so I can get someone on the phone.  I don't enter without calling first.  

When I get them on the phone, I ask if they are ready.  I don't want to start if the children are just eating or they are doing a pinata.  I want all that stuff out of the way.  

I ask to be met by the children.  Tell the mom to tell the children you're there, they can meet at the front door, back gate in the playground. 

The children see me.  I'm in character walking up.  I can do funny physical comedy.  I get no one screaming because they see I'm coming in, nothing shocking.  I've completely taken over.  Adults are removed.  This is what I want.  

Parents don't always know the best place to set up, how to gather the children, how to warm them up. By meeting me at the front door or greeting me I'm in total control.  Well not total but you know. 

While goofing with the kids at the front door I make the children laugh.  You can ask for the birthday child and shake the wrong child's hand.  You can say I don't see any boys here, the children will laugh and say there are lots of boys.  Play with that.  You can pretend to sneeze and chase them with a gross giant handkerchief.  All nice warm ups.  In the corner of your eye, check out the space, look for the best area.  Then lead the children to the best area.  Move furniture if you need to.  

Don't be afraid to start late.  When I call, I ask if they are ready for me or if they'd like me to wait a few minutes.  I think it's better to wait so you have all focus and all the guests have arrived.  Late comers are disruptive.  

Get in there and take over.  That's what entertainers do.    

Big Time Photo Shoot...

The big big article is almost here.

Maybe this will change my career. 

Maybe not.  

It's just interesting to be in on a story that will change how professional clowns, especially the ones that do children's entertainment are viewed.  

Wednesday, I was flown to Los Angeles for a photo shoot.  

I dealt with my own huge insecurities, my need to please everyone, my wanting beyond measure to be famous.  

I tend to sabotage good things in my life.  See "Hey Mr. Sub!"  my very funny youtube channel about being a substitute teacher.  oops. got fired again and again.

When I talked to the photographer last week, she wanted me to change my look, my make up.  It was super upsetting to me.  There is nothing sacred to me about the clown.  I would do another make up if I were being hired but this is about me.  

I will make fun of clowns, I will put myself in harms way.  But my make up is incredibly personal. This was like asking me to make fun of my own children.  I was really hurt.  

I held my ground.  I don't care about what I do, I don't care about the costume, just my look is me.  

When I arrived. She loved all my props but had an image of a white face clown.  I held to no.  But was so upset.  I hate letting people down.  

The shoot was a long one.  6 hours.  Lots of very interesting positions and sad faces.  My in my underwear.  balancing ladders on my finger.  juggling old fashioned juggling pins.  doing the splits.  

I was tired.  I do a lot of long clown days but I pace myself.  This one, I never took breaks.  Even when I ate lunch.  I took 10 minutes ate very little so I wouldn't get sleepy and went back to work.  

Life throws a few opportunities.  I can't blow this one.  I don't have a lot left.