"The Successful Show"

Here I am two shows into my holiday run at the lovely little SF Playhouse downtown San Francisco.

I can say the show is a huge success. I have measures of these things.

I broke even. That's pretty incredible, to get enough people to get out of their houses, go downtown to the crowds this time of year to see a "clown show". I know it's like no other clown show in the world, I have a very unique take on what makes kids laugh.

I have a wonderful new relationship with my younger son. Each year I do these holiday theatre shows with my two sons. My older son is away this year in India with 16 of his classmates, in complete appreciation of all they have at home. (the emails back home are full of stories of limbless beggars and orphans they are helping).

My younger son Dustin did all the tech at the theatre. We rehearsed together, we picked music, he figured out how to operate a lightboard and how to patch into the theatre and run music and sound effects for me. Running a show takes a lot of concentration. Even though I don't really care if he misses a cue, he does.

I have learned (as a father) how wonderful of a son I have, how smart and talented and how much I've underestimated him. He's 4 years younger than his older brother so lives in the shadows a bit.

I happily eat crow. He's amazing and my total partner. I completely hate tech. I just want to perform. I love that he pushed me to pick music for each routine. It's such a better show because of that.

That alone could make it successful. I mean, realizing my child is way better than me, is a gift.

I created a killer theatre show for kids and families. It ran one hour and 10 minutes. There are very few kids entertainers in this country that could command the attention for that length of time. I have one 90 second break in the show where I am not onstage, I run backstage during a cartoon and change into a tutu.

There is no padding in this show, that's pretty incredible to me, I've come a long way.

Here's the big one (as a performer, nothing can match my relationship with my son). I have done 2 shows now. The first one was ok, not a great show by my estimation. I was very angry at myself after for a lot of mistakes in timing and comedy.

I looked at what didn't work in the show and killed the next day. I changed the opening, because I know kids, I know their attention span, I know how to fluctuate material to keep them going. I worked on my show and I created a show better than I believed.

So, this is a dream. I am in a theatre doing my show and making some money. My profit is about what we spend on groceries but I am doing it. It's taken me years and years of renting theatres. But it feels good.

I'm a very very happy clown.

A successful show is not about the money, it's about the art, the craft of clowning. That's a big lesson, a big lesson for me.

"It's Showtime!"

I subject myself and my family to something every year...I do a big show around Christmas.

This involves, renting a theatre, writing a show and worst of all publicizing it and hoping people will come.

I'm one of the few children's entertainers, that I know of, that puts on a theatrical show. I certainly appreciate that there are entertainers that work solely in the theatre but I straddle the world of birthday, library, school shows and the world of theatre.

This year things are clicking into place. We are doing the final dress rehearsal, I still have to run out and buy bagels for the singing bagel routine but the show could go on this afternoon and it would be in good shape.

It's a scary venture, putting yourself out there like this. There are really so many things out of my control. On the other hand, this is what's called living my dream.

I love children's stage performing. It's been a focus of mine for years. The control and flow of a show, often how to pull it back because when children laugh too hard they sometimes wet themselves. Yup, I'm that funny.

So, I'm nervously making lists of what to finish up. Dress rehearsal this afternoon. Then it's showtime! For the first time in all the years I've rented a theatre, I will not only break even but make money. It actually looks like I'm going to sell all the shows out. There are about 45 tickets left for all the shows. That's cool.

"Raul's Mom"

I visited the kids at Family House last night. Family House is a place where families live while their kids are in cancer treatment. (Of course there are other awful diseases children have. Their families are also welcome.)

My number one fan Raul died 4 days ago. It was a bit strange to go in there for me. My job is to entertain, not soothe. There are lots of kids there though, plenty to make laugh.

It was a Holiday party (translate Christmas. Come on! I'm a Jew and I call everything Christmas!). Presents galore, piles and piles of presents for the kids. Way more than I give my children even. People love to donate to this place.

I am surrounded by my fan club of kids (there is no place I'm more of a rockstar than Family House). There is Santa, there are elves giving away presents, my good friend Super Gigi is facepainting (she's the best in the world, and totally funny).

Raul's brothers come through and say "Hi Boswick...my brother passed away" Oy. What do I say to that?

Towards the end, Raul's dad asked me to come see his wife, she just didn't want to come to the party. So I went to where they live and she was lying under blankets crying.

The room is like a large hotel room. Everyone is living there, Mom Dad and about 4 kids. So there are toys all over, clothes, TV video games. It would look like a typical family vacation viewed without knowledge.

She brightened up when I came in. She even smiled when she saw me. Raul loved me, that made her smile.

That's what I do. That's why I'm here. For all the fight to stay doing what I do, the fight to make a living. The fight to make a living as a clown and convince people that kids love clowns. Raul's mom smiled when she saw me.

We sat, I held her hand. I had made a small video for Raul, when he missed my show last year. I make videos all the time, to me, it's a tiny project. Raul had my video on his ipod. He watched it a few days before he passed away.

I did what I do. I made a family smile for a few minutes, in a world that gave them nothing to smile about.

"For Raul"

I found out last night that my super fan Raul passed away.

I've visited a lot of sick kids over my career. This is my first experience and I'm sad.

I didn't know Raul, really. I have visited a special place he lives with his family, called Family House for many years. Raul and his "crazy cousins" have lived there at least 2 years.

But I think about the family.

I live near the hospital where children are in cancer treatment. So, I think about Raul and his family.

I visited the kids at Family House right before Thanksgiving and asked about him, he was getting bone marrow. So he missed my visit. I meant to send him a video greeting. Sometimes, I do that for kids.

I'm visiting the kids tonight at Family House and they told me Raul "had lost his battle" last week.

It makes me sad.

I didn't really know Raul. I know he loved me. That's pretty cool. I made him laugh. He was my fan. I'm his clown.