No Elbow Room...

I had an injury.  It hurt...it still hurts.

I hurt my elbow.

Whaa.

I was teaching at the School Of the Arts in San Francisco.  "Clowning and circus skills."  I was helping a giant 9th grader, (a big un).  A super sweet kid but a big kid.

When I started teaching, I didn't realize how many kids never did gymnastics.  I thought all kids did it, either in preschool or classes.  A bunch of my kids never did a summersault or cartwheel.  Very foreign to my way of looking at life.

Life is a tumble.  I used to do summersaults on our back lawn.  I think I learned a cartwheel in elementary school, I can't remember because I could always do it.

I spent a lot of my life trying to learn to walk on my hands.  Which I learned, I was pretty good at it.  I don't do it much now.

Because...I'm too fat to hold up my weight anymore and...

I hurt my gd elbow!

The giant 9th grader in fact did.

As part of my kids show, I take little kids and create a circus.  I help them roll.  But you know they are five not two hundred and five like my giant 9th grader.

I've been impervious to most injuries.  I've done Aikido forever.  My knees pop a lot but I can still do most everything.

Except, walk on my hands because my elbow hurts.
Carry my show because my elbow hurts.
Get high fives from kids because my elbow hurts.
Sleep without waking up because my elbow hurts.
Do Aikido

I was spotting the giant 9th grader.  (helping him go over his own head without wrenching his neck). He went sideways and took my arm with him on a little guided adventure.

It hurt. A lot but I've been hurt a lot in my career.

One time doing a fall off a chair, I hit the corner of the chair on my ass.  Now that hurt.

The giant 9th grader just caused a lot of aching.

I finally decided I should see a doctor after about a year and 3 months of agonizing and complaining..  But you know...i'm a dude.  My friend Bill said, oh yeah, I had that, you need an operation to reattach the tendon.  damn...

I went in, told the doctor I needed an operation.  He said, "I wish you people would quit talking to each other...you have tennis elbow"  he gave me cortisone vwalah.

That was good for two months.  The pain returned with a horrible vengeance.

A hundred web sites later.  I emailed the doctor and asked if I could see a physical therapist.

This is so stupid, I thought physical therapy was the last resort.  OMG, I should have done this first.

My new hero Becky.  Did all sorts of detective work.  No tears, but lots of weak muscles in the elbow area from my body protecting itself.  (stupid body)

My hero Becky found I injured my elbow and an area of my neck.  (stupid giant 9th grader)

My hero Becky gave me stretches and strengthening exercises.

My hero Becky pushed on spots on my neck that made my toes flinch.  (ouch)

We set goals.  First.  To get high fives from the wee ones.  Got that
To carry my stuff into a show without pain.  Better
And to return to Aikido.  That scared me.

This last week, I not only returned I've taken 5 classes, it's so fun.  I'm in there without competition just enjoying the art and blowing cholesterol out of my arteries.  I'm a very competitive person, so I like trying to get higher degrees.

My elbow was a great excuse.  I gave up.  It was a perfect symptom.  I didn't have to do Aikido and be social with all those go getters.  I didn't have to work on video projects, I didn't have to write, I didn't have to work on clowning.  I have been in a depression for nearly two years.  My elbow injury was perfect cover.  A perfect way of not moving.  Physically and metaphorically.

Outside forces are great at messing us up.  Those little voices inside my head were loud and they got control.

F the little voices.  I'm back.  

It Takes Chutzpah to Be A Clown!

I got a call from a fellah that wanted to do a surprise at his restaurant for one of his bartender's birthdays.

These calls come in from time to time, someone has a "fear" of clowns (see nearly every other post on here to see how I feel about that).  They think it will be funny to scare a co-worker.

I tried to pawn it off on some other performers. I wasn't available the time he needed.  One guy, I've been taking classes with didn't want to do it, which surprised me, I'm a say "yes" to everything guy.  Always shocks me when people turn stuff down.  I wasn't available for the time he wanted.  The idea of saying no, baffles me.

I asked another person, who thought it was a hoot but she had a teaching conflict.  That's my kind of clown.

This guy...we'll call him Ben...because that's his name.  Was adamant.  He wanted me, he was emailing and calling.

He rearranged the schedule to have me do the gag on Monday late afternoon.

You're asking ...The gag?

Go into a bar, as a traditional clown. order a drink, don't interact much with the bartender, just you had a really bad bad day.

I agreed and spent that day with a nervous stomach.  I'm always nervous...

I went in as angry clown.  I brought a clown nose my dog had gotten to.  It was a little chewed up around the edges and the string was broken.  I knew I could use it blaming the kids

I said, "I know this looks weird but this is the worst day of my life, I want a Jameson."  while she's pouring, I say, "let me have a beer too."

She was so nice.  She kept asking is everything ok.  I let out little bits of how tired I am of trying to take care of spoiled kids.  I've wasted my life.  I'm moving to Portland, where it's cheaper to live.  (that's what people always say in San Francisco).  She said she had taught preschool. (I told you she was nice)

I sipped my whiskey, I took balloon animals out of my pocket and broke them one at a time.  I took my business card and tore them up.

A slow burn.  She wanted a balloon animal, I gave her one.  saying, "I promise this is the last balloon I'm ever making. "

I made fun of the dishwasher, I made fun of the other people at the bar.  I was a dick.  I called the dishwasher a hobbit because he was short.

Then I walked out without paying.  (this is what the owner wanted).  But she didn't chase me.  Damn. I was standing outside the restaurant, waiting for her to chase me.

I walked back in, she was so nice.  "Do you want another?  Here's the bill."  I said, "you're going to make me pay after the day, I've had?"  She didn't know what to do.  I said, "do I have to tip too?  I gave you a balloon."  She said.  "you don't have to tip"

I handed her a $20 bill that had something written from the owner.  She said "oh my God!"  everyone poured out from the kitchen, laughing.  It was like a TV show.  It was great.

The best part for me.  She asked if I really worked with kids?

And that's clowning.  It's pointing out absurdity and going with it.

Clowns are extreme versions of ourselves.  This is the best example of that.  Extreme versions are absurd.

Yes, I was nervous and the thought of drinking whiskey while in make up is against what I do (generally).  But it worked.

It was a gag but I felt like an artist.