It Takes Chutzpah to Be A Clown!

I got a call from a fellah that wanted to do a surprise at his restaurant for one of his bartender's birthdays.

These calls come in from time to time, someone has a "fear" of clowns (see nearly every other post on here to see how I feel about that).  They think it will be funny to scare a co-worker.

I tried to pawn it off on some other performers. I wasn't available the time he needed.  One guy, I've been taking classes with didn't want to do it, which surprised me, I'm a say "yes" to everything guy.  Always shocks me when people turn stuff down.  I wasn't available for the time he wanted.  The idea of saying no, baffles me.

I asked another person, who thought it was a hoot but she had a teaching conflict.  That's my kind of clown.

This guy...we'll call him Ben...because that's his name.  Was adamant.  He wanted me, he was emailing and calling.

He rearranged the schedule to have me do the gag on Monday late afternoon.

You're asking ...The gag?

Go into a bar, as a traditional clown. order a drink, don't interact much with the bartender, just you had a really bad bad day.

I agreed and spent that day with a nervous stomach.  I'm always nervous...

I went in as angry clown.  I brought a clown nose my dog had gotten to.  It was a little chewed up around the edges and the string was broken.  I knew I could use it blaming the kids

I said, "I know this looks weird but this is the worst day of my life, I want a Jameson."  while she's pouring, I say, "let me have a beer too."

She was so nice.  She kept asking is everything ok.  I let out little bits of how tired I am of trying to take care of spoiled kids.  I've wasted my life.  I'm moving to Portland, where it's cheaper to live.  (that's what people always say in San Francisco).  She said she had taught preschool. (I told you she was nice)

I sipped my whiskey, I took balloon animals out of my pocket and broke them one at a time.  I took my business card and tore them up.

A slow burn.  She wanted a balloon animal, I gave her one.  saying, "I promise this is the last balloon I'm ever making. "

I made fun of the dishwasher, I made fun of the other people at the bar.  I was a dick.  I called the dishwasher a hobbit because he was short.

Then I walked out without paying.  (this is what the owner wanted).  But she didn't chase me.  Damn. I was standing outside the restaurant, waiting for her to chase me.

I walked back in, she was so nice.  "Do you want another?  Here's the bill."  I said, "you're going to make me pay after the day, I've had?"  She didn't know what to do.  I said, "do I have to tip too?  I gave you a balloon."  She said.  "you don't have to tip"

I handed her a $20 bill that had something written from the owner.  She said "oh my God!"  everyone poured out from the kitchen, laughing.  It was like a TV show.  It was great.

The best part for me.  She asked if I really worked with kids?

And that's clowning.  It's pointing out absurdity and going with it.

Clowns are extreme versions of ourselves.  This is the best example of that.  Extreme versions are absurd.

Yes, I was nervous and the thought of drinking whiskey while in make up is against what I do (generally).  But it worked.

It was a gag but I felt like an artist.